Intro - Fast, jangly acoustic guitar strumming)
(Verse 1)
The pundits on the TV scream, their faces painted grim
About the geopolitical scene and chances looking slim
They talk of codes and briefcases, a button shiny red
The looming threat of mushroom clouds to fill us all with dread
They say the world is on the brink, a hair-trigger away
From turning all our vibrant towns to shades of ash and grey
But I just sip my morning coffee, and I have to stifle a grin
'Cause they're forgetting who, exactly, has to type the password in.
(Chorus)
Oh, we ain't gonna see no World War Three
We’re saved by glorious stupidity!
The launch sequence is much too long, the font is way too small
They'll never get the nukes to fly, they're bound to drop the ball!
So sleep tonight, don't be afraid of radioactive suns
Our fate is in the hands of clumsy, fumbling, foolish ones!
(Verse 2)
Now take Donny, with his phone, a-tweeting up a storm
He'd try to start a global war to keep his ego warm
But the button's in a sub-menu, beneath the settings tab
He'd get distracted by a pop-up ad for some new ab-fab
"This button, is it the best button? A tremendous button, you see!"
He'd ask for brand approval from his daughter, Ivie
Then forget the login, try "TREMENDOUSLEADER1"
And get locked out for 24 hours before the fun's begun.
(Verse 3)
Then you got Vlad up in the Kremlin, staring at the screen
Hacking shirtless, looking stern, to make a scary scene
But the Windows 95 machine his generals gave him lags
He's trying to deploy the troops but he's just sorting flags
He’d click the wrong attachment in an email from a prince
And now his whole war council's got a virus ever since
The warhead targeting computer's stuck on a loading wheel
He's smashing on the keyboard, but he's lost all his appeal.
(Chorus)
Oh, we ain't gonna see no World War Three
We’re saved by glorious stupidity!
The launch sequence is much too long, the font is way too small
They'll never get the nukes to fly, they're bound to drop the ball!
So sleep tonight, don't be afraid of radioactive suns
Our fate is in the hands of clumsy, fumbling, foolish ones!
(Bridge)
And over in Pyongyang, it’s a comedy of errors
Ken Jeong Un, the supreme leader, facing his own terrors
He wants to launch a missile, make the whole wide world take note
But he's too busy practicing his lines and clearing his throat
He's got the rocket aimed and ready, but the remote is outta sight
He thinks he left it in the pocket of his other jumpsuit, the white!
The generals are all face-palming, it's a strategic mess
He's asking if his evil laugh is causing them distress.
(Outro)
So let the talking heads all chatter, let the anchors look so grave
It's the sheer incompetence of power from which we all are saved.
They'll probably end up nuking the ocean by mistake...
Or order a billion pizzas for goodness sake...
Yeah, they'll order a billion pizzas... with extra cheese and might...
And argue over toppings... long into the night...
kriegerdemon666
