Only a child

You never laid your hands on me,

and that's something that I'm grateful for.

But I should've known you'd already lost your mind

the night I heard you punch that fucking door.

Your temper filled the hallway,

your silence filled my chest.

Funny how a house can stay standing

while everything inside it is a wreck.

I learned to read your footsteps,

I learned when not to speak.

A little kid shouldn't have to memorize

the sound of grown men breaking peace.

You called yourself a father,

but where the hell were you?

A title ain't a heartbeat—

it means nothing if it isn't true.

I'm crying on my mama's floor,

why don't you want this anymore?

And I'm begging for you to change for me...

Say, "I hear you, and I love you,"

but my heart—it hurts for you.

How can I give love

if you're already walking away?

How do I stop bleeding

from wounds you made without a blade?

You left me chasing shadows,

begging for a man who never came.

You were breathing...

but you never fucking stayed.

You were never a father—

only a child with his pride

so far up his ass

that he couldn't see

the damage he was doing onto me.

I don't regret loving you,

because I know that you needed it.

But when you turned away and slammed that door,

I knew I needed to be more than this.

I bent until I almost broke,

trying to earn a love

that should've been free.

Tell me—

was I too loud?

Too quiet?

Too hard to keep?

Or was it easier

to pretend I didn't exist

than admit you never knew

how to love your own kid?

Every birthday...

Every Christmas...

Every promise that you missed...

You taught me disappointment

better than you ever taught me your name.

Go ahead...

Blame the world.

Blame your childhood.

Blame your pain.

But don't you dare

put that weight

on my fucking shoulders.

I was the child.

You were supposed to be older.

I spent years

wondering what was wrong with me...

Now I know...

It was never me.

How can I give love

if you're already walking away?

How do I stop screaming

when your ghost still knows my name?

I'm done begging

for a man

who chose his fucking ego

over me.

You don't get to rewrite history.

You don't get to call this family.

I'll carry every scar,

but they don't belong to me.

You were never my hero.

You were never my home.

Just another stranger

I happened to call...

"Dad."