[Intro]
Light acoustic guitar, soft congas, steel drum fill
[Verse 1]
Snipe-huntin’ in the woods last night,
Fireflies glowin’, moon just right.
Thought I found peace by the old cypress tree,
Till somethin’ down yonder started tickin’ me.
Mama always told me to keep it clean,
If you know my Mama, you know what I mean.
But I missed a spot when I bathed in the lake,
Now I’m singin’ ’bout the price of a small mistake.
[Chorus]
I thought I could reach it but I guess I can’t,
It ain’t butthole and it ain’t balls,
Just hangin’ out somewhere between it all.
Be careful with those tweezers, man, I just might faint—
Yeah, life gets weird with a tick on taint.
[Verse 2]
Called up Larry, said, “Buddy, I’m hurtin’,”
He said, “Man, that’s a line I ain’t workin’.”
“You said you’d always be there,” I complained,
He said, “Not for that, bro, you’re on your own again.”
You find out who your friends are quick,
When you’re beggin’ for help with a stubborn tick.
Bent over a cooler in the summer heat,
Feelin’ less like a man and more like meat.
[Chorus]
I thought I could reach it but I guess I can’t,
It ain’t butthole and it ain’t balls,
Just hangin’ out somewhere between it all.
Be careful with those tweezers, man, I just might faint—
Yeah, life gets weird with a tick on taint.
[Bridge]
It’s a little brown hitchhiker with no shame,
Set up camp and forgot his name.
Now the beer’s gone warm and the bug spray’s spent,
Re-thinkin’ every place I went.
If karma’s real and has no restraint,
She’ll stick you good with a tick on taint.
[Final Chorus]
I thought I could reach it but I guess I can’t,
It ain’t butthole and it ain’t balls,
Just hangin’ on tight where the sunlight stalls.
Be careful with those tweezers, man, I just might faint—
Pour one out for the tick on taint.
[Outro]
Guess I’ll sit here scratchin’, watch that sun go down,
Laugh at the luck I’ve found.
Life’s a comedy if you don’t complain—
Just pour one more for the tick on taint.
