So alone

Am I supposed to not care. I supposed to pretend like you don't matter to me .I'm sorry I can't lie. It's so hard keeping it in . Been rejected to many times I'm scared of getting hurt again can't let them get to close. I can't tell him how I feel. Maybe the timing is not right. Will I regret keeping it to myself.

Please God tell me mine is still out there or will I always be alone. Help me except that he's not the one . It would be nice to have someone who cares how I feel. Someone to say goodnight to and to have dinner with to laugh with and dance arm in arm. It would be nice to not be lonely.

He seemed so perfect. I felt things for him and how could I feel for the one who feels nothing for me. Why God has this always happened to me. Please God help me make sense of all this. I'm so confused. Did I run out of choices. What do I need to do. I'm so done trying and getting hurt everytime. I need an everyday love not something I'm unsure of. God who can make me happy not cry or show my heart how to break .I'm getting to use to being alone.