After the Collapse

Intro — whispered]

I don't know who I am anymore.

I only know who I lost.

The bed is cold on your side of the room,

Your silence has become my favorite tomb.

Sixteen years of memories

Turn to ghosts beneath my feet,

And every fucking photograph

Is something I can't delete.

I hear your voice inside the walls,

I see your face when darkness falls.

I built my life around your name—

Now every piece of me feels wrong

And I don't know who's to blame.

I keep waking up

Expecting you.

Then reality

Tears me in two.

LOOK WHAT'S LEFT OF ME!

A wreckage wearing a human face!

I lost you—

And I lost my place!

SIXTEEN YEARS!

Reduced to memories!

How the fuck do I rebuild

A life that died with you and me?

I smash the silence just to hear something break,

I scream at the ceiling until my voice starts to shake.

Every room is an autopsy

Of everything we used to be,

And the future I imagined

Is a corpse staring back at me.

I hate you.

I miss you.

I need you.

I don't.

I swear I'm moving forward—

Then I'm crawling back through the smoke.

My mind is a battlefield,

My heart is a loaded gun.

One side says it's over.

The other says, “She's the one.”

I keep telling myself

That I'll survive.

But every morning

Feels like another funeral inside.

LOOK WHAT'S LEFT OF ME!

A wreckage wearing a human face!

I lost you—

And I lost my place!

SIXTEEN YEARS

Reduced to memories!

How the fuck do I rebuild

A life that died with you and me?

I CAN'T SLEEP!

I CAN'T THINK!

I CAN'T BREATHE

WITHOUT RELIVING EVERYTHING!

EVERY PROMISE!

EVERY KISS!

EVERY NIGHT

I THOUGHT WOULD NEVER END LIKE THIS!

YOU WERE HOME!

YOU WERE FAMILY!

YOU WERE HALF OF EVERYTHING I USED TO BE!

NOW I'M STANDING

IN THE ASHES

SCREAMING—

WHO THE FUCK AM I?!

Maybe grief is not a wound.

Maybe grief is losing the map.

Every road I knew

Led somewhere beside you.

Now I'm walking through a city

That I built with your hands,

Trying to recognize myself

In the ruins where I stand.

And some nights I don't want answers.

I just want the pain to stop.

Some nights I would give anything

To go back before we lost it all.

LOOK WHAT'S LEFT OF ME!

Still breathing underneath the debris!

I lost you—

But you're still living inside of me!

TWENTY YEARS

And a lifetime I can't retrieve!

I'm drowning in everything we were,

Trying to learn how to fucking breathe!

YOU'RE GONE!

THE LIFE IS GONE!

THE FUTURE THAT I KNEW IS GONE!

BUT I'M STILL HERE!

I'M STILL HERE!

I'M STILL FUCKING HERE!

Maybe that's the cruelty of grief.

The world ends...

And somehow,

you wake up the next morning

and it's still turning.