listen, I gotta tell you this
Cos its blowing my mind
How playing it in rewind
Unmasks my subconsciousness
Without realizing
I went to go do the things I always do with you
& the freakish part - i thought i was empathizing
You scream & call me vicious
But my moves only prove its me or you acting smooth but actually malicious
The last of the dishes
Throw them at me hard broken glass broken plate
Im irate
You fucken hate
Its too late now fucked up this shit wow the hot is heated & Im depleted
I wanna sleep & go deep into the depths of what hell is depicted
No coming back
Its the fucking blackness of the impact
Scream
Are you alive you never know cos noones listen bro let it go
& close your eyes be blind unwind into nothing below poof.. gone bye bye old man till next time we can
But in my mind I caught the flip side
take responsibility for me no one else can take the good I made so Ill step up fully
take the hit for being that shitty
unhealthy version of me
& try to keep going,
keep filling my own head with positive emotion leave that door wide open
keep hopin Ill fukm do it just watch cos
these words ive spoken
my token slogan from being broken to being awoken
a new vocabulary
its nothing like how I speak regularly
particularly
since I grew up in a white Christian family
its my polarity familiarity irregularity
& honestly. if you can figure out how to see it for what it is
life isnt that bad its just full of balance
thats the challenge
be present learn from the past thats how you see if you grew
in that same fucking shit that keeps happening.. its true.
if you want different outcome different moves is what you gotta do
yea you. noone else can do it for you
change the past habits of your past by finding someone who can teach you
listen learn say sorry if you fail
trust me you will a lot but dont bail
cos effort for change is way easier than constant weight on your back that keeps getting heavier from hurting more people you love & letting them down
making new friends then have to leave town over & over around & around
surviving is not living
my life with my kids was my dream when I was younger all I wanted was my own team
now I have it but I keep fucking it up it seems
i want to keep it & teach my kids what this life could be
not what theyve seen
in the darkness of fears played out in between
me & their dad angry & yelling screaming
they grow up thinking
what the fuck is the point if its a life of constant sinking
fighting to survive in a dark world is not a meaning
to want to carry on keep believing.
so show them different but first to the work
so they dont have to go through as much hurt
as you have had to endure
thats how you make up for all the shittiness from before
set them up with the tools they need
to navigate through life & succeed
to accept life will be fucking hard
make sure they understand
that cos this is the important part..
that without all that shit all of lifes crappyness
without it
we'd have no idea how it'd look in happiness
WorldsDrone08
