Baby Blue Eyes

Verse 1 Sixteen years old standing at the door Step dad took my shoes said don't come back no more Mama watched it happen didn't say a word Just a little boy wondering if he'd ever be heard

I learned to pack light, learned to move fast Chicago cold, New York loud, nothing ever last Arizona heat and Denver clouds and up north by the sea Building salmon habitats just trying to find me

Pre-Chorus Anything for shelter, anything for more Always knocking on somebody else's door Like a salmon swimming upstream all alone Fighting every current just to find my way home

Chorus I've been moving all my life Searching for a home, searching for a love Searching not to be alone City after city, start after start Just a little boy with a wandering heart Looking for the place where I finally stay Looking for the love that doesn't send me away

Verse 2 Florida found me when I needed to be found A love bomb wrapped in promises that never hit the ground Only loved me when I mirrored back his face Plastic Kens and borrowed dreams, I shrunk to fit his space

So I drove to West Hollywood with nothing but my name Got my own apartment, my own key, swore I'd never be the same Gilded waters, borrowed time, finally something mine 5'2 but I carry mountains, been rebuilding every time

Verse 3 Then you walked in Larry, baby blue eyes Something cracked me open underneath the WeHo skies I wanted under your chest not under your clothes Wanted your story, wanted everything you'd show

I studied how the body works, action potentials, the heart But nobody ever taught me the most important part I've been wired for danger since I was small Scanning every room before I'd give my all

Bridge But you were never the threat my body said you were You were just the safest thing I'd ever felt for sure And I repaid that safety with my worst Unprocessed feelings, alcohol came first

Those old wounds bleeding every time I felt displaced The sad little boy with trauma showing his face Today I put the bottle down, not for anyone else For the little boy who deserved so much more than this

Outro I wish someone had taught me sooner Not just how to survive But how to stay when it gets heavy How to love and still thrive

I spent my whole life running from Chicago to the sea Turns out the home I searched for was always inside me Larry if you're listening, I'm sorry I found you then I'm grateful that you found me, I'm becoming whole again

I don't want to just survive anymore I want to learn to love well To stay well To be well Baby blue eyes I'm learning how to love well