Depth murmur 2 (Emotion)

[Verse 1]
I'm falling in slow motion, the walls are closing in
My heart beats like broken bass, too fast, too empty
Thoughts dance in a ring like shards of glass
Every turn cuts deeper – I don't want to scream anymore
The mirror lies to me with strangers' eyes
Says: "You haven't been at home here for a long time"
I count scratches on my soul like notches
Each one a date when I almost broke
[Pre-Chorus]
And yet
somewhere deep down
something still flickers
that can't be extinguished
[Chorus]
I'm falling deep – yeah, damn deep
But I still have bones
Still teeth
Still this fucking willpower
that refuses to die
I'm falling deep – the floor is concrete
But I beat my fists bloody
until something inside me
starts beating again
like a human being
[Verse 2]
The pills are like chains And like a life preserver at the same time
Some days I swallow hope, some only chemicals
The diagnoses pile up like bills in the mailbox
Each one bears a stamp: "chronic – incurable – face it"
Friends grow quieter, some turn away
"You just have to think positively" – thanks, asshole, really
But some nights I still call
and someone answers – that alone sometimes keeps me alive
[Bridge]
There's no shortcut
No final boss fight with epic music
Just repetition
Getting up again
Showing teeth again
Breathing again, even though the air tastes like lead
[Chorus – a little louder, rougher]
I fall deep – screw how deep
But I crawl back into the light with broken nails
Blood in my mouth, dirt on my face
and this madness in my head that suddenly screams:

"Not yet! Not by a long shot!"

[Verse 3 – quieter, almost whispered]
Sometimes success is just
that I brushed my teeth today
that I got out of bed
that I said "no" to the impulse
that wanted to throw me out the window
Sometimes winning is
simply still being there
when all the other voices have long since left
[final chorus – with all my might]
I fall deep – yes, deep again and again
But the way up
consists of exactly these shitty little steps
that no one sees
that no one applauds
that only I feel
The key isn't talent
not luck
not the right therapy alone
The key is: I want.

And more than anything else in this shitty world, I want to live – I want to stay –
I want to become.

[Outro – only voice & soft breathing]
So fall deep, my heart

I'm taking a running start in free fall

And someday
someday
I'll spread my wings
…even if they're in tatters. 

African Soul, children Gospel chor, Episch, power Ballade, Kräftige voice female, rytmisch, emotionales Saxophon