Learning to Love Well

Verse 1 Mama had no home so she put us in a shelter I was five years old trying to hold it all together Oldest brother watching siblings watching mama cry Watching daddy's fists and wondering God tell me why

She threw the towel in gave herself what she deserved A house a job a license at thirty finally heard Then a man love bombed her pulled her from her own Separated all her kids and left us on our own

Pre-Chorus Kicked her son out in the cold Gave her daughter to the state I learned early what it meant To be the one who had to wait

Chorus Couch to couch at family houses City after city start after start Chicago Vegas Florida West Hollywood Just a boy with a wandering heart Looking for the place where I finally stay Looking for the love that doesn't send me away

Verse 2 Vegas broke me down said I wasn't enough Not dirty enough not this enough never measuring up Florida came next another love bomb another lie Only loved me as a mirror never really tried

Went couch to couch and city to city Searching for a someone searching for a home Built my body strong counted every calorie But inside I was still so lost and alone

Bridge Nobody taught me in those homeless shelter hallways How to love someone or how to let them catch my fall I've been the oldest brother my whole life Holding everyone together swallowing it all

The bottom of that cup runs dry Larry You fill me up in ways that bottle never could I don't want to choose the bottle over you baby I just never learned another way to feel understood

When I don't feel enough I feel it in my bones Every insecurity from every man who made me feel alone But you're everything I dreamed of and that terrifies me Because starting over is the only thing I know how to be

Verse 3 Then you walked in Larry baby blue eyes Something cracked me open underneath the WeHo skies I wanted under your chest not under your clothes Wanted your story wanted everything you'd show

Got my own apartment my own key my own space First time in my life I had my very own place 5'2 but I carry mountains on my back Been rebuilding myself every single time life cracked

Outro Mama got her license at thirty started brand new I'm twenty five and I'm starting over too Not from nothing this time from something from us From West Hollywood and Palm Springs and baby blue eyes I trust

I don't choose alcohol first I never wanted to It's always been the escape when I don't know what to do But the bottom of that cup isn't as good as you I'm learning God I'm learning how to let that be true

I don't want to just survive anymore I want to learn to love well To stay well to be well Larry if you're listening I'm sorry you found me at my worst I'm grateful that you stayed I'm becoming whole I'm learning how to love well