The choice is on me, the choice is on me
Bleeding, dying every night inside
Too stubborn to surrender, too stubborn to die
Got no choice but to survive
Yet You call me, beckon me
I remain deaf to Your cries
Clinging to my lies like a lullaby at night
Soothing me to sleep, I lie
In my cradle of death
Not wanting to survive
I hear Your cry
I hear You calling me
I can’t survive
These streets keep calling me
I fear loss of my freedom
The only route I’ve known
Nowhere to call home
Yet I die
Like the rest that fly high
No one around me but the forgotten that roam with me
Yet I die, I die inside
No one to hear me
No one but You, Lord
My granny taught me about You
But I hate You for what You did
My sister tell me it’s not You but him
Choices.
Choices.
Choices.
Surrounding me.
Mama choices.
Daddy choices.
Brother choices.
My choices.
Drowning in free will
Dying for my own
Yet His will
Is the only one I don’t understand
Sister cries for me
Tells me I can start again
Live again
But how do I get out these choices?
I don’t know
I drown in my lies
In the death cradle at night
Where’s my pipe
Choices, choices
Where’s my pipe
So tired
Just gonna close my eyes
Choices.
Choices.
Uh oh, I woke up again
Another day to live in this hell
Here come the pigs
Got me again
Tired
Left and forgotten
Maybe sister was right
Damn these choices
Preacher man tell me there’s hope for life
Pastor tell me what my sister been crying
Maybe He isn’t the bad guy
Maybe it’s our choices
Maybe I listen while I ride my time
Maybe I finally go to rehab
Like my sister wants
Choices.
Choices.
Been 23 months behind these bars
Feeling good about my choices
Sister proud of me
Bought me clothes and shit
Dropped me off at rehab
Warned me
Didn’t listen
Too stubborn for my choices
Choices.
Choices.
Mind racing
Heart racing
Them cries calling me back to the streets
Didn’t call sister
Didn’t reach out
Chasing a girl that ain’t no good for me
Like the addict I am, gotta have it
She say she don’t want me
I’ll show her
Take these drugs
Tell her goodbye
Choices.
Choices.
She won’t respond
Oh shit
I can’t breathe
What have I done
Choices.
Choices.
Baby sister I’m sorry
You warned me
Prayed for me
At least I can see my hero
My brother
Thank you for praying, sissy
I made it after all
Heaven is nice, sissy
I’m sorry for my choices
Free will felt like freedom
But it was just a cage
I blamed the hand that dealt me
But I was holding spades
I cursed the One who loved me
While I dug my grave
Now I see
It was my choices I made
