Hell

God my God I call on you with your son's name. Help me with this pain having to learn everything again. I can feel the the rain pouring on me. I mourn what I used to be. Trapped I feel as if I am imprisoned. By my sin I try to fight temptation but the flesh always wins. Please save me from myself I don't know how. I ask and plead with you to change my heart from it's wicked ways. I am sick all I give you in return for being this great. Is broken promises. I know I shouldn't be like this but you are the only one who can fix me. I feel like I live this lie. I try and try to stay away from it but I just can't quit. Your spirit I hope I never lose it or abuse your grace. On my misplaced focus I give myself punching my ticket to hell. I pray you change me into the man you want to be. I am tired of the way I view women. I'm sorry I look at them with lust over and over again. Undeserving yes I don't deserve your goodness in every breath I take is grace. I try to serve you but I always fail. I know the way I live will send me to hell. That deep dark pit is a destination I don't wish to repeat. I hope you receive me the next time. I want to go into the light. I know this life is a temporary one a sacrifice. A price to be with you all I want to be is with you. Down down in the depths of darkness I felt what it's like without you the light. I pray I can stay in your light. Please reach my heart and soften the hard. I feel like you want me here to warn the others. Lost like not thinking you were real. I can say from first hand experience. Hell is no picnic. It was so dark. I'm glad you gave me a restart.