Announcer:
Rap Battles! Stewie & Brian vs Rick & Morty!
Universe creators throw down! Let's get naughty! GO!
Stewie Griffin (Verse 1):
My Big Bang spawned existence! Yours just starts your car!
I architected spacetime, you just slur behind a bar!
My genius is cosmic, yours is pickled, sad, and weak,
Prepare for obliteration from this infant magnifique!
Brian Griffin (Verse 1 - Skeptical):
Stewie, that "Big Bang"... sure it wasn't just gas?
Or another failed device built for kicking Lois'— ahem.
Rick Sanchez (Verse 1):
(Burp!) Kid, my 'verses function! Yours is fanfic dream!
I hop realities daily, you just plot and scheme!
Your head's a football, Stewie, face it, you're absurd!
My science works, yours ends with you yelling "Curse you, world!"
Morty Smith (Verse 1 - Panicked):
Aw jeez, Rick! A baby genius? Talking dog? Oh man!
Is this gonna get weird? Like, really weird? What's the plan?!
Stewie Griffin (Verse 2):
My temporal tech surpasses your crude portal tricks!
I'll erase your boozy timeline with a few swift clicks!
While you babble nihilism, drunk and barely astute,
I calculate equations that would melt your simple snoot!
Brian Griffin (Verse 2 - Skeptical):
Your calculations often end with explosions, Stew.
And that time machine mostly just brings back overdue library goo.
Rick Sanchez (Verse 2):
(Burp!) Goo? I swim in weirder stuff before my first beer!
Infinite Ricks exist, dog! Why are you even here?
You're cartoon filler, both of ya! Burp! Heard it all before!
I'm C-137's finest, knocking at death's door!
Morty Smith (Verse 2 - Panicked):
Death's door?! Aw jeez! Talking dog, evil baby fight!
Can-can we just leave? Please? This doesn't feel right!
Stewie Griffin (Verse 3):
Silence, doubters! My intellect reigns supreme!
I'll fold your flawed existence like a horrifying dream!
My Big Bang echoes onward, perfect, sharp, and vast!
Your drunken science stumbles, built too crudely to last!
Brian Griffin (Verse 3 - Skeptical):
Right. Can someone just pass the gin? This genius-off's a bore.
Predictably, they'll break something, just like they did before.
Rick Sanchez (Verse 3):
(Burp!) Broke it already! Done with this kiddy show!
Morty! Portal! Now! Let's burp ditch this embryo!
Wubba Lubba Dub Dub! You hams lose! Smell ya later!
(Portal opens, Rick grabs Morty)
Morty Smith (Verse 3 - Panicked):
Aw jeez! Not again! Don't leave me with—! Awww man!
Stuck with the baby and dog! This is worse than Xanthan!
Announcer:
Rick bolts! Stewie boasts! Brian sighs! Morty's stuck!
Who won? Does it matter? Total cluster— Fruck! Battle over!
kriegerdemon666
