Sfoa

Yeah…
I got a storm in my chest, I don’t know how to calm it,
So much rage in my bones, I’m afraid I might drown in it.
I smile in public, but inside I’m screaming,
Heart like a war zone, mind always scheming.

I’m angry at the past, at the pain, at the lies,
At the nights I survived when I should’ve felt safe inside.
Angry at the hands that were supposed to protect,
Angry at the silence, the years of neglect.

I talk to myself like, “Girl, breathe, don’t snap,”
But the pressure keeps building like a loaded trap.
I feel it in my jaw, in my fists, in my spine,
Like one wrong word and I might cross a line.

And that scares me…
Not the world, not them, not the past,
But the way my heart pounds when the memories crash.
The way my thoughts get dark, my vision gets red,
Like the anger wants control of the wheel in my head.

I’m scared of my own fire, scared of what it could do,
Scared I might become what once shattered me too.
I don’t wanna be cruel, I don’t wanna be cold,
But this rage feels ancient, heavy, and old.

I hold it in ‘cause I’m scared to explode,
Scared the real me is a monster I don’t wanna know.
I don’t wanna hurt, I don’t wanna destroy,
I just wanna be safe, I just wanna feel joy.

God, why does healing feel like walking on glass?
Why does peace feel so fragile next to the past?
I’m trying to forgive, I’m trying to let go,
But some days the anger is all that I know.

So I talk to myself in the mirror like, “Listen,
You’re not your rage, you’re just hurt and you’re missing
The safety you never got, the love you deserved,
The childhood, the peace, the unbroken nerve.”

I’m not evil.
I’m not lost.
I’m just a soul who paid too high a cost.

This anger’s a signal, a cry, not a sin,
It means I survived what should’ve ended me then.
I’m scared of my fire, yeah, but I won’t let it win—
I’ll learn how to hold it without burning my skin.

Female rap choir violin and piano melancholic buildup raw choir