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Title: “Welcome to the Show (Now Shut Up and Smile)”
Intro (spoken, snarky):
This broadcast is brought to you by the fine folks who own everything...
Including your opinions. And pants.
Now, here’s your daily dose of dumb!
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Verse 1:
Good morning, folks, it’s the daily spin,
Where facts are thin and the smiles are grim.
We interrupt your coffee and toast,
To scare you stiff with tomorrow’s ghost.
We’ve got doom at six and fluff at ten,
Then more commercials till we lie again!
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Verse 2:
School bells ring, let the brainwash start,
Color inside lines, but don’t grow a heart.
You’ll learn to sit, obey, and text—
Forget the past, we’ve updated the next!
“Thinking’s hard,” the teacher said,
“Just memorize and never use your head.”
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Chorus:
Welcome to the show, where truth's on leave,
And logic’s hiding up your sleeve.
We’ve got spin, ads, nonsense, flair—
And breaking news: you’re losing hair!
So grab a snack, forget the facts,
Just laugh along and pay the tax!
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Verse 3:
Politics? It’s a talent show,
With clowns who’ve mastered saying “No!”
Left or right, the script’s the same,
Argue loud and shift the blame.
And while you fight about red or blue,
They’re robbing the vaults and blaming you.
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Verse 4:
Consumer dreams, now just 99.9,
For a useless gadget you’ll never find.
Buy the shirt, buy the thrill,
Buy the junk that pays the bills.
You don’t need it? Well, buy it twice!
Freedom’s just a coupon price.
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Chorus (with extra sarcasm):
Welcome to the show, grab your free dumb hat,
Where your voice is heard... just not like that.
We dance, we cheer, we sell, we spin—
And the only one laughing's the guy cashin’ in!
So sit right down, and don't complain—
Or we’ll blame you for the acid rain!
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Outro (spoken):
And remember... the system works just fine...
if you’re rich, clueless, and legally blind.
Goodnight, America. Try not to think too hard.
Robert Ramage 
