Oh, darling, I'm just here to speak to the manager.
He'll know what to do about this… disaster.
(Piano enters, slow and melodic)
(Verse 1)
The eggs are runny, the coffee's cold
A tale of woe that's getting old
But not for her, no, not for me
The queen of this sad cafe society
She taps her finger, her voice a low hum
"Is this the best that you can become?"
The server wilts, a look of despair
Another victim caught in her glare
(Chorus)
'Cause she's a fishwife, a legend in her own mind
Complaining about the price of gas, the line behind
Her face a scowl, a permanent frown
The most entitled woman in this whole town
She'll make a scene, she'll cause a fuss
All for a discount, just for us
Just for her, the one and only Karen
The queen of all entitled barren... (pause)
Conversations
(Verse 2)
The grocery aisle, a war zone of carts
She's blocking traffic, tearing lives apart
"That coupon's expired? Oh, don't you dare!
I'll have you know I'm a frequent shopper here!"
She throws her keys on the checkout stand
Demanding service from this tired land
The manager's here, he's got that look
He's memorized her complaints from a book
(Chorus)
'Cause she's a fishwife, a legend in her own mind
Complaining about the price of gas, the line behind
Her face a scowl, a permanent frown
The most entitled woman in this whole town
She'll make a scene, she'll cause a fuss
All for a discount, just for us
Just for her, the one and only Karen
The queen of all entitled barren...
Conversations
---
(Hard rock bridge kicks in, guitar solo wailing)
(Bridge)
The volume's up, the rage is real
This isn't a suggestion, it's a demand, a feel!
"I'm a customer, I'm always right!"
Her face is red, a burning light
She's shaking her fist, she's stamping her foot
She'll get what she wants, or she'll press 'reboot'
She'll call the cops, she'll call the press
She's a one-woman show, a walking mess!
THE CUSTOMER IS NOT ALWAYS RIGHT
SHE'S A NIGHTMARE, A TERRIBLE FRIGHT
THE PRICE IS THE PRICE, THE RULE IS THE RULE
SHE'S THE ENTITLED BANE OF THE UNIVERSE, A FOOL!
(Guitar solo shreds to a crescendo, then cuts out abruptly)
(Piano returns, soft and simple)
(Outro)
She sips her coffee, now finally warm
A tiny victory in this daily storm
She smiles to herself, a job well done
Until the next time, when the next one's begun.
