🎵 Villains of Yesterday
Hard Rockin’ Hillbilly Theater Style – Funny as Hell, Mean as Grits, and Proudly Unhinged
(Full song: intro • 5 verses • chorus • bridge • outro)
Electric banjo, distortion guitar, stompin' kick drum, and harmonica from the underworld. Let’s go!
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[Intro – Growlin' and spoken over crunchy riff]
They used to scare cities, tear the world apart...
Now they scare nurses… and forget where they parked.
But don’t let the wrinkles fool ya—
They’re still meaner than a raccoon in a port-a-john.
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[Verse 1 – Lex Luthor]
Lex Luthor’s bald and wired up tight,
Plotting world doom from his trailer at night.
Got a recliner throne and a lava lamp,
Said, “I still hate Superman—pass me the cramp cream!”
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[Chorus – Loud, rowdy gang vocal style]
They’re the villains of yesterday—still got fight,
Gummin' up trouble in the middle of the night.
Forget the lasers, they got bedpans and rage—
Crankin’ chaos from the golden age!
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[Verse 2 – Joker]
The Joker’s got dentures and a jester's hat,
Rides a Rascal scooter with a boom box in back.
Painted his face with hot sauce again,
Then scared a nurse and called it a win!
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[Verse 3 – Harley Quinn]
Harley Quinn’s in leopard print tights,
Sippin’ prune juice and startin’ bar fights.
Still flirts dirty with the maintenance guy,
And keeps dynamite in her pecan pie!
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[Verse 4 – Penguin]
The Penguin’s umbrella’s a modified cane,
Shoots smoke bombs and gravy stains.
He waddles into Walmart, dressed to kill,
And price-matches with malicious skill!
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[Verse 5 – Catwoman]
Catwoman’s hips don’t swing like they did,
But her stare still freezes up the town mid-bid.
She’ll steal your wallet, your meds, and your chair—
And leave a hairball in your underwear!
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[Bridge – Break down to nasty blues riff]
They may be old, but don’t be dumb—
They still got venom in the chewing gum.
They rock bingo like a mosh pit show,
And they’ll burn this place down—real slow!
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[Final Chorus – Shout it proud!]
They’re the villains of yesterday—still kickin’ tail,
With oxygen tanks and a checkered past trail.
Evil never dies—it just walks with a cane,
In orthopedic boots and a twisted brain!
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[Outro – Spoken slow, deep and evil]
They ain’t dead…
They just nap hard.
Still schemin’, still screamin’...
Still got your credit card.
🎶[ (Guitar slides, harmonica wails, evil laugh echo out)]
> Villains… of yes-ter-dayyyy!
Robert Ramage 
