Untitled

I watch and observe these crowds as I pass them. I pretend to be normal but I know the truth, I can never go back. I keep my friends and family at distant because if they saw my demons they’d be scarred. I see my daughter and her beautiful smile. Probably the best thing I’ve done with my life. My mind wanders still… keeping me distant even when I wish I could be close. My demons scream at me wanting to play. BANG! BANG! BANG! Rings through my head as I watch my daughter play. The noise is so loud as I shift my gaze. I rub my head hoping it subsides as my daughter grabs my hand grounding me once more. I smile making sure she doesn’t see my demons. Tears well in my eyes holding back the nightmares. I hold it together for public’s sake. Hell itself tries to break my doors as I restrain it from reality. My mind is a blur as I try to focus. My calm demeanor is a mask that holds back a hell no one sees. A hell lived that I’m no longer normal….BANG!BANG!BANG! Rings in my head once more….. all I can do is contain the pain and demons. I sit there smiling at my precious daughter making sure she’ll never the hell I’ve seen.