[Intro](The track opens with a bright, bouncy, almost childish kindergarten-style recorder melody that sounds hilariously out of tune.)(Ear candy: A dramatic, bass-boosted movie trailer voice cuts in over the top.)Announcer Voice: In a world... where talent is scarce... one man spent twenty dollars on a microphone.(A sudden, massive, crisp West Coast trap beat drops. Heavy, rubbery 808s and clapping handbeats turn the joke into an immediate head-bopper.)GrizzlyJones (Clear, charismatic rap flow):Yeah. Big Grizzly in the building. Ezra, drop that heat.We about to take this all the way to the local supermarket. Let's go.[Verse 1](The beat is incredibly catchy and clean, driving forward with a funky synth-bassline and rapid-fire hi-hats. Grizzly delivers with absolute confidence, completely deadpan.)GrizzlyJones:I woke up at noon, feeling like a million bucks,Checked my bank account—I got enough for two deluxeChicken sandwiches and maybe half a cup of tea,The IRS is looking, but they'll never find me.(Vocal effect: Hide and seek!)I'm a lyrical genius, a absolute titan,I wrote this whole verse while my toast was still fryin'.My sneakers are fake, got the stripes numbering four,I tripped on the rug when I walked through the door.(Sound effect: Loud cartoon slipping noise)But I played it off smooth, started doing the worm,I’m the flyest accountant at this mid-level firmGrizzlyJones (Building speed and hype):My credit score is trash but my dance moves are gold,I’m a certified legend (or so I’ve been told).Got my gym shorts on and my socks up high,Watch me look the cashier directly in the eye and say—Ezra (High-pitched, robotic hype-man scream): GIVE ME THE DISCOUNTGrizzlyJones (Super loud, incredibly catchy rhythmic cadence):HEY! I got absolutely nothing to lose!I’m walking down the street in my grandpa's shoes!I can’t pay rent but I’m living the dream,Eating cold pizza while I'm texting your team!Ezra (Catchy pop-harmony backing vocal):He's completely broke but he looks so fly!Don't ask him any questions, don't ask him why!GrizzlyJones:If you see me in the club, I’ll be hiding in the back,Putting seven free mints right into my pack!(Crowd shout: WHOOP!)[Verse 2](The beat drops back into the tight, funky trap pocket. A hilarious, rhythmic cowbell layers onto the backbeat.)GrizzlyJones:My car makes a noise like a blender with rocks,I keep my life savings inside of my socks.I went to the gym just to look at my phone,Spent forty-five minutes in the stretching zone.(Ezra ad-lib: Good stretch!)I’m a culinary master, look at what I can do,I can microwave a burrito in a minute or two.If it’s still cold in the middle, I don't even complain,I just chew
GrizzlyJones