Nothing Bad Enough

We weren’t fighting

Nothing was breaking

The days moved steady

The nights stayed quiet

You asked if I was good

I said yeah without thinking

There wasn’t anything wrong

That I could point to

I kept waiting

For something clear

Something loud enough

To make the choice for me

There was nothing bad enough

To make me leave

Nothing sharp enough

To set me free

So I stayed inside the normal

Called it peace

There was nothing bad enough

But I wasn’t me

I learned how to want less

Without saying it out loud

Stopped expecting changes

Stopped checking the future

Friends asked how things were going

I told them steady

It sounded responsible

It sounded grown

I kept lowering the bar

So I wouldn’t have to face

What I already knew

There was nothing bad enough

To make me leave

Nothing broken

Nothing I could blame

So I stayed where it was familiar

And incomplete

There was nothing bad enough

Just nothing changing me

Nobody held me here

That’s the truth

I wasn’t trapped

I was comfortable

I wasn’t waiting for better

I was waiting for worse

So I’d have permission

To walk away

Everything quiet

Everything rising

There was nothing bad enough

To make me leave

So I stayed longer

Than I believed

Now I know the difference

Between calm and empty

There was nothing bad enough

But there wasn’t life in me

Sometimes you don’t leave

Because something ends

Sometimes you leave

Because nothing ever begins