Because you asked me to..

I was the first in the world to hold you, first to feel your warmth when i held your hand, i was first hear your heart beat. As i kissed you first i was first to breathe in your first breath.. i was the last person to hold your hand and feel the warmth slowly leave. I layed my head on your chest and to the very last heartbeat my last kiss ibreathed in your last breath... Nothing can prepare you for the total destruction of your entire world,

Thrust violently into a darkness , blind, being torn to shreds by the tiny shards of your shattered heart. No concept of time or space... just passing images of your face disappearing into the vast endless lonliness. No sounds, only the sounds of my silent screams because no one will answer. I collapse in the void and lie motionless, frozen.. dont even know where im goin.. because the man that i once was flew with you

When you left me. I remember being mindless,hopless, trying to make sense of what was sensless, the sudden explosion of emotion

Overwhelming, hateful, spiteful, abandoned... i wanted to hurt somebody, i could end somebody... anybody... myself...

I was walking a tightrope, in total darkness, balancing on a razors edge. Bombarded by the negative thoughts, guilt, hate, pain, and misery the laughter in the ashes of the disaster coming after what was left of me. Hiding, waiting, to be saved if i was worth saving. Awakened every day by the voice of an angel. I would find just enough strength every day. I would find a way. To keep my promise. Its been my honor. You were my one and only perfect daughter. You gave me a perfect granddaughter. I hope i was a good father... im trying my best without you.. i know i can do better.. please visit me