Sharpie storms, a perfect call,
Bigly walls that won’t stand tall.
Miracle cures in a midnight speech,
“Try some UV light, or a little bleach.”
Pre-Chorus
He loves to brag, he loves to shout,
But baby, do you know what came out his mouth?
Chorus
🎤 He said WHAT?! (Oh no he didn’t!)
He said WHAT?! (Girl, we were smitten.)
Bleach in the veins, Tylenol too,
He said WHAT?! — but the crowd still grew!
⸻
Verse 2
“Person, woman, man, TV,”
Spells confusion, A-B-C.
Little hands wave, the lies expand,
He’s building castles out of sand.
Pre-Chorus
Science calls, but he won’t stay,
Now he’s blaming Tylenol for autism today.
Chorus
🎤 He said WHAT?! (No way, no way!)
Tylenol myths in the news today.
Bleach in the veins, lies on repeat,
He said WHAT?! to the 80s beat!
⸻
Spoken Valley Girl Verse (Music drops, finger snaps + synth bass)
🎤 “Like… is he serious?
He thinks bleach is a smoothie,
UV lights are medicine,
and Tylenol causes autism?
Oh my god, he’s so dumb —
he can’t even say… aceta-what?
Yeah… acetaminophen.
And ew… ‘If she wasn’t my daughter’?
That’s GROSS, girl!”
(Background girls giggle and chant: “So dumb! — So gross!”)
⸻
Verse 3
Facts don’t matter, he loves the show,
Every claim gets a neon glow.
Bigly talk, but the truth is small,
His little hands can’t hold it all.
Final Chorus (big, chanty)
🎤 He said WHAT?! (Hey hey hey!)
Tylenol cure, bleach every day.
Spin that lie to the 80s beat,
He said WHAT?! — but we’re still on our feet!
⸻
Outro
(Chant fading out with echoes and laughter)
🎤 “He said WHAT?! He said WHAT?!
Girl… Advil could never.”
SilentWriter
