The Beanbag Shanty

Oh, we set sail on a couch-bound quest,

A mighty voyage with snacks and rest!

The beanbag called from the corner there,

“Come sink in me if ye truly dare!”

Heave-ho, lads, and plop ye down,

In the bag that’s soft and brown.

A sailor lost, adrift he’ll stay,

In the beanbag’s hold ‘til the end of day!

The captain sat with a mighty creak,

And soon the beans began to squeak.

He shouted, “Men, I can’t get free!

This blasted bag’s got a grip on me!”

Heave-ho, lads, and plop ye down,

In the bag that’s soft and brown.

A sailor lost, adrift he’ll stay,

In the beanbag’s hold ‘til the end of day!

The crew sank deep in its pillowed maw,

One tried to stand, but the bag said “Naw.”

With every wriggle, they sank some more,

'Til all hands were trapped on the squishy floor.

Heave-ho, lads, and plop ye down,

In the bag that’s soft and brown.

A sailor lost, adrift he’ll stay,

In the beanbag’s hold ‘til the end of day!

They searched for treasure, remote in hand,

But the beanbag had buried it under the sand.

"Abandon hope!" cried the quartermaster,

"For a seat this snug’s a disaster, faster!"

Heave-ho, lads, and plop ye down,

In the bag that’s soft and brown.

A sailor lost, adrift he’ll stay,

In the beanbag’s hold ‘til the end of day!

So raise your glass to the beanbag's might,

Where lazy days turn into night.

The bravest sailors have met their doom—

Forever marooned in that cushioned tomb!

(Final Hearty “Yarrrr!”)

There she blows—no sails, just snacks!