[Intro]
Been a long dark ride
Still here though
Still here
[Verse 1]
Eyes on the ceiling fan
Spinning all these plans I never finish
Group chat ping on my phone
I ghost again, then act like I don’t miss it
Mama text "you eat yet?"
Leave her on read, but I’m starving inside
Tell myself "I’ll change soon"
Then scroll till the sunrise
Old friends doing houses and babies
I’m still doing laps round the same three blocks
Head full of blame and maybes
Heart full of brakes, I keep pumping when it knocks
Tell ‘em "I’m good, I’m working"
Code for "I don’t know who I am"
Staring at a cracked screen version
Of the person I pretend I understand
[Chorus]
I got this satellite skin
Always out here, never fully in
Orbit every room that I’m standing in
Smiling with my teeth while I cave within
I got this satellite skin
All these missed calls circling again
Say I’m fine, let the message send
But I don’t know where I land, where I end
[Verse 2]
Talk tough in my head
Out loud, my voice goes quiet
Keep peace till I bleed
Then call that keeping it private
Therapist asking "what you feel?"
I laugh it off, change the topic to the weather
Scared if I peel back one small layer
Everything I taped up snaps together
Scroll through pictures I don’t post
Every angle, every filter, still feel wrong
Try to type "I’m not okay"
Backspace the truth, hit send on "stay strong"
Tell my little bro "be honest"
While I’m hiding heavy thoughts behind a meme
Double standards in my pocket
Like my keys and nicotine
[Chorus]
I got this satellite skin
Always out here, never fully in
Orbit every room that I’m standing in
Smiling with my teeth while I cave within
I got this satellite skin
All these missed calls circling again
Say I’m fine, let the message send
But I don’t know where I land, where I end
[Bridge]
If I crash back down
Will you still be around? (still be around)
If I say out loud
"I’m scared of being found"
Would you drift with me
While the ground shakes slow
Hold my name like a secret
You’re not scared to know
[Chorus]