never ever

When have I ever not gotten what I wanted?

When have I ever not gotten what I needed?

Especially when I tried

Especially when I stayed consistent

Funny how I forget that

Funny how I start doubting myself

Like I ain’t watched miracles happen

Over and over again

I used to not care if they liked me

Now I want love all around me

Not the kind I gotta beg for

Not the kind I gotta chase

Just genuine people

Good hearts

Good energy

Good taste

And I’ll be kind

But I won’t abandon myself to keep somebody

No

I won’t shrink my boundaries

Just because somebody wants access

I spent too much time learning them

I wanna be the woman

People speak highly of

Cause I speak highly of others

Integrity over gossip

Truth over slander

Even when nobody watching

When have I ever not gotten what I wanted?

When have I ever not gotten what I needed?

Especially when I tried

Especially when I stayed consistent

Maybe that’s what this year is

Consistency

Not talent

Not potential

Consistency

Read the book

Write the pages

Say the prayer

Keep the promise

Show up when nobody clapping

I wanna try new things

Show off my gifts

Learn new hobbies

Live this life like I actually believe

I only get one

I wanna leave Colorado

I wanna build a home

I wanna foster children

Show them things I never saw

Show them safety

Show them love

Show them what happens

When somebody doesn’t give up on you

Maybe that’s why I can’t give up on me

When have I ever not gotten what I wanted?

When have I ever not gotten what I needed?

Especially when I tried

Especially when I stayed consistent

I was born with too much fight in me

Too much vision

Too much faith

To live a small life

And maybe beauty fades for some people

But mine gets richer

Cause every year I become more myself

Every year I become more disciplined

Every year I become more grateful

Every year I become more free

So if I’m manifesting anything

Let it be courage

Let it be discipline

Let it be wisdom

Cause everything else always seems to find me

When have I ever not gotten what I wanted?

When have I ever not gotten what I needed?

Especially when I tried

Especially when I stayed consistent

Funny how I forget that

Funny how I ever doubt it