Texts from my husband - pt. 1

Ride was hot

New bars are fucking sweet like tits

You’re a tough chick, no doubt about that baby

Maybe this is where the spell is broken

I mean I get him to eat corn dogs most of the time... but it's corndogs

77 degrees next Monday. Wild

Hell yeah

Mower runs like a raped ape now

Need to get that switchblade sometime

This thing is expensive

Alpinestar fuck yes

For that price there'd better be a happy ending every time I put them on

How's it going there?

You have my daughter yet?!

Shit yeah, tequila season

Damn, meant to grab tamales on my way out but totes forgot

Damn. Well bring some chili home and let's fuck

Yeah. I love putting my mouth all over tacos

Can't get enough of it actually

Fuck yes fuck yes fuck yes

I got a table outside though, it is a little chilly. A sweaty is best advised

Careful. I can turn you into a mob wife. There is still time

Holy fuck i do NOT want to he here. It's bad today

Soft hearted. Shhhiiiittt my heart is hard as…

Something that's really, really hard.

Soft penissed. Now I could get behind that.

Wrong footwear no doubt

There is a disconnect between what some people call beach day

I'll have to stop at the store for margaritas mix and tequila

And this is where I realize just how deep the rabbit hole can go

Heading home