[Spoken – Frank]
Joe… this woman is trouble in heels.
[Piano sting]
[Verse 1 – Frank]
She smiles at you through cigarette smoke,
Calls you her king—kid, that’s a joke.
A girl says “forever” in that velvet tone,
Next thing you know, your paycheck’s gone.
[Chorus – Frank]
Joe, kid, it’s a setup, can’t you tell?
That lipstick’s paved with matrimonial hell—
[Record scratch]
[Femme Fatale interrupts]
Oh hush, Francis.
[Verse 2 – Femme Fatale]
Joseph Q, don’t heed these men,
They lost at love and blame women since then.
They call it a trap, they call it a snare…
I simply want him in a nice armchair.
With tea at dawn and curtains of blue,
Perhaps a mortgage or children two…
Why call it doom or sinister art?
I only intend to capture his heart.
[Chorus – Her]
Joe, sweet Joe, come into my web,
Ignore these bachelors living on bread.
They fear devotion, they mock romance—
Come let me tighten destiny’s dance.
[Spoken – Frank]
“Tighten”? Did she say tighten?
[Dean-style aside]
Joe, run.
[Verse 3 – Frank]
Kid, she said “mortgage” by verse two flat,
That right there oughta tell you where you’re at.
[Verse 4 – Femme Fatale]
And what if I want him hopelessly mine?
To feed him pasta and pour him wine?
To kiss his brow while plotting… a bit—
That doesn’t make me villainous, does it?
[Duet Battle]
[Frank:] She wants your freedom!
[Her:] I want his weekends!
[Frank:] She spins a web!
[Her:] It’s called commitment!
[Frank:] Joe, flee the city!
[Her:] Joe, bring a suitcase!
[Big Chorus – both]
[Frank:] Joe, kid, it’s a setup—
[Her:] Joe, darling, it’s love—
[Frank:] She’s a black widow—
[Her:] I fit like a glove—
[Both:]
And Joseph Q stands trembling there,
Between a fedora and raven hair!
[Spoken breakdown]
[Frank:] Kid, choose liberty.
[Her:] Choose passion.
[Frank:] Choose the highway.
[Her:] Choose the honeymoon suite.
[Joe(tiny voice):]
…Can I think about it?
[Final swing outro]
[Her:] Joseph… come to the web.
[Frank]: Joe… head for Nevada.
[Dean:] Somebody hide the boy.