EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
COMMANDER SHEPARD!
VERSUS!
THE DRAGONBORN!
BEGIN!
[Shepard]
Stand at attention, Dragonborn—Commander Shepard is on the mic.
I've commanded squads from Eden Prime to the Citadel spike.
You slay dragons with shouts, I grounded Reapers with pure might.
N7 on my chest, Paragon or Renegade—my legend ignites.
When the galaxy was threatened,
I rose up and held the line
No Lydia to save you,
You're out of potions, out of time!
[Dragonborn]
Krosis, Commander, I'll shatter your shields and pride
You're a pawn of Cerberus, couldn't get out if you tried
You're in dialogue wheels, stuck in moral debates
I'm busy fighting dragons while you calculate and calibrate
I slaughter all my foes, while you can't even dance
Players don't care about your guns, just who they can romance
Even Ulfr the Blind can see my victory
I'll drop your ass harder than an arrow to the knee!
[Shepard]
Think an “arrow to the knee” can halt my cosmic stride?
My Normandy warps through systems while you wander mountainside.
I’ve charmed krogan and quarians, united them under my leed;
While you shout at clouds, I'm fighting wars at warp speed.
Go back to your inn and drink a mug of Honey mead
Your medieval swagger’s toast— I shape the stars, you can’t compete.
[Dragonborn]
You talk a big game but your verses are weak
I've heard better lines from Nazeem's critique
My game's an open world, I craft my stories to my voice
Your heroics are scripted with the illusion of a choice
I'll fast travel to your defeat, I don't need a ship
Three words from me would make your whole world flip
Your galaxy's a gimmick, your crew's a soap cast
I'm fighting in the snow while you kiss The Council's ass
Liara gonna ditch you like a vagrant spacer bum
Because beware, beware Shepard the Dragonborn comes!
[Shepard]
Check your quest log, Dragonborn: I'm rewriting your prophecy.
I overcame Reaper swarms while you chase mammoth ivory.
I go on Fantastic Voyages, your fetch quests are a bore
You're buying houses, cooking meals and other household chores
You glitchy game requires mods that Bethesda won't fix
I've got Garrus, Wrex, Tali, Legion all watching my six
Swords and shields bore me, my crewmates adore me
I'll blast a crater through your wards and your Stormcloak army!
[Dragonborn]
I've got Serana, Shepard—your companions are a joke
She'll blast your sorry crewmates and just leave a puff of smoke
You chart the galaxy and soar through the skies
But I warp all of reality and travel through time!
I beat the World Eater my legend is Unbound
Even Reapers realize Dovahkiin wears the crown
You waste your time scanning planets for upgrades and ship parts
While I forge swords and armor using dragon scales and daedra hearts!
The Elder Scrolls foretold about this battle that I've won
And after it's all over Shepard you'll be Fus-Ro Done!
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
