[(ambient synths, distant heartbeat)]
I come here to vent…
I don’t mean to upset…
Just got a lot going on in my head…
[Verse 1]
I come here to vent, don’t mean disrespect
Just got a lot of weight sitting on my chest
Smoking gun in my hand but it never goes off
Every shot that it takes somehow misses the mark
Fighting my final stand, least that’s what it feels like
Fear keeps talking every single night
Telling me I’m not ready for what’s next
Telling me every blessing’s something I’ll neglect
Head spinning, losing or winning?
Every day feels like I’m barely beginning
Funny that I write when I’m fighting my sin
If that tells you anything about how I’ve been
Hate myself and hate my life
Even though I’m thankful every night
Trying to hold on, trying to be alright
Trying to find peace in my own mind
[Pre-Chorus]
And I know what Fear wants me to say…
He wants me to believe I’m the same man I was yesterday
[Chorus]
Back to the old me… (old meee)
Back when everything was falling apart
Back when every bad thought found a home
And made itself comfortable inside my heart
But I see the light at the end of the tunnel
Even if it’s hard to believe
Fear keeps saying he’s here to stay…
But I’m starting to doubt what he tells me
[Verse 2]
Want to pop the question but I’m scared to death
Thinking ‘bout forever while I hold my breath
Scared to commit, scared to mess it all up
Even though I know she’s the one I love
Scared to stay, scared to go
Comfortable being all alone
But I don’t wanna be alone no more
Don’t wanna spend my life scrolling through my phone
I see the future and it scares me sometimes
Bills piling up while I’m trying to climb
Trying to be a man worth following
While still figuring out what’s going on inside
[Pre-Chorus]
And every time I start believing again…
Fear reminds me where I’ve been
[Chorus]
Back to the old me… (old meee)
Back when everything was falling apart
Back when every bad thought found a home
And made itself comfortable inside my heart
But I see the light at the end of the tunnel
Even if it’s hard to believe
Fear keeps saying he’s here to stay…
But I’m starting to doubt what he tells me
[Bridge]
[(drums drop, ambient pads only)]
Fear says I’ll never change
Fear says I’ll always break
Fear says every good thing in my life
Is one mistake away
Fear says I’m not enough
Fear says I should give up
Fear says a lot of things…
[Final Chorus]
Back to the old me…..
Maybe that’s what Fear wants to see
Maybe he’d love for me to stop fighting
And hand him everything
But I see the light at the end of the tunnel
And it’s getting closer every day
Fear keeps saying he’s here forever…
But this time I believe him…
[Outro]
[(synths fading)]
ELIROBB