You’re the reason the divorce rate is so high.
A glowstick has a brighter future than you. Lasts longer in bed, too.
You can be anything you want…except
The good books say to make good friends, but I think I made a mistake
You make me increase the amount of caffeine I take daily
You do realize we tolerate you.
Earth is full. Go home.
Everyone has purpose in this life, yours is to become an organ donor.
I am jealous of people who didn’t meet you.
Why are you rolling your eyes? Are you looking for your brain?
You didn’t change since last time I saw you. You should.When I listen to you, I think you really going to go far. I hope you stay there.
I look at you and think what a waste of two billion years of the evolution.
It would be a great day If you used a glue stick instead of Chapstick.
Yes, I’m fully vaccinated, but I will still not hang out with you.
When I see you coming, I get pre annoyed. I’m just giving myself a head start.
I would smack you, but I’m against animal abuse.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would simply jump from your ego to your IQ.
I can’t wait to spend my whole life without you.You’re like Mondays—nobody likes you.
If you were a game show, you’d be called No Deal.
“Cool” means cold, “hot” is the opposite of cold… so if I’m not cool, I must be hot. Thanks.
Hide! The garbage truck is coming!
You warthog-faced buffoon!
You clattering collection of caliginous clutter!
You son of a motherless goat.
You’re not only physically repulsive but intellectually bankrupt.
They should’ve put you in a jar on the mantlepiece. Shame.
You are a sad, strange little man—and you have my pity.
Sit your $5 ass down before IIf I wanted a joke, I’d follow you to the bathroom and watch you try to think.
When I think of you as a person, I take away reason and accountability.
I don’t give a damn about your idiotic conundrums.
You baboon-faced bastard.
You tiny-brained wiper of other people’s bottoms!
Well aren’t you just a cookie full of arsenic.
You cantaloupe.
You’re a wart on the nose of humanity.
You degenerate.
You foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach.
You remind me of sweat from a baboon’s balls.
You malignant little ooze.
In the vast configuration of things, you’re a skittery little spider.
What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I’ve ever heard.
You must be the arithmetic man—you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.