Spiders

Ya ready for tazzy to put it down again lets go i smell smoke. Were you thinking too hard again?You look smarter in picturesYou’re proof that accidents happen.You're brain is full of spiders."

"You are an oxygen bandit."

"First off: brush your teeth."

Best Insults

Devon Divine

Random

180 Best Insults to Destroy Your Enemies

You have an entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off?

By January Nelson January Nelson

Updated 3 months ago, September 18, 2025

The right comeback will make you come across as intelligent. It will remind your enemies not to mess with you. It will make you appear strong. Of course, you can also use funny insults on your best friends when they’re being a little too annoying. Here are the 80+ best insults to destroy your enemies, or more importantly, your best friends.

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best insults and comebacks

best insults and comebacks

Comebacks and insults that will destroy your worst enemies

If you want to shut someone down when they start to get mean, you need to use one of these perfect comebacks:

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I was today years old when I realized I didn’t like you.

Someday you’ll go far. And I really hope you stay there.

Oops, my bad. I could’ve sworn I was dealing with an adult.

I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that?

Remember that time you were saying that thing I didn’t care about? Yeah, that is now.

You’re the reason God created the middle finger.

I’m busy right now, can I ignore you another time?

Oh, you don’t like being treated the way you treat me? That must suck.

I wish I had a flip phone, so I could slam it shut on this conversation.

N’Sync said it best, “BYE, BYE, BYE!”

I’ve been called worse things by better men.

You’re a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.

Your secrets are always safe with me. I never even listen when you tell me them.

You bring everyone so much joy! You know, when you leave the room. But, still.

How many licks until I get to the interesting part of this conversation?

best insults and comebacks

best insults and comebacks

The best comebacks ever spoken

If you want to get the last word into an argument, you need to use these great jokes:

Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain.

Your face makes onions cry.

Did I invite you to the barbecue? Then why are you all up in my grill?

Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! I still have mine.

You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail.

If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.

You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.

It’s impossible to underestimate you.

Wow, your maker really didn’t waste time giving you a personality, huh?

Her teeth were so bad she could eat an apple through a fence.

I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying.

Oh, I’m sorry. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Hold still. I’