Middle Class Gangster

Yeah…

You know who runs these streets…

Semi-detached mafia…

Neighbourhood watch crew…

Let’s go.

I’m a middle class gangster, don’t push me bro

Got a Tesco Clubcard and a lawn to mow

Drive-by in a Prius, engine real quiet

Mum said be home by ten, don’t start a riot

I got meal prep chicken in a Tupperware stack

Got a mortgage deal with a low fixed track

Neighbour Dave watching through the blinds again

Thinks I’m dangerous ‘cause I park on the bend

Got a ring doorbell, yeah I see your face

You ain’t from around here, this a quiet place

We don’t sell drugs, we sell stuff on eBay

And I iron my shirts every single Sunday

Don’t make me write a strongly worded letter

To the council, yeah I know they do better

You think you’re tough but you ain’t seen stress

Try renewing a five year fixed at a higher interest

I’m a middle class gangster, don’t test my gate

Got a fixed rate mortgage and I think it’s great

Gym on Saturday, Meal prep Sunday,

Bed by ten ‘cause I work on Monday

Middle class gangster, running this town

Push my shopping trolley up and down

You run the streets? That’s fine by me

I run the local community AGM meeting

Yeah…

You see that hedge?

Trimmed that myself.

Intimidating, isn’t it?

Got a barbecue set and a patio heater

Apron on, I’m the grill street leader

Flip them burgers with authority

Paper plates for the whole community

I got a shed with tools and a power drill

Neighbour asks to borrow, yeah I charge a bill

Not real money but a favour later

That’s middle class crime, see you later

School run traffic, yeah I own that lane

Passive aggressive notes when you park again

“I hope you know this spot’s usually mine”

That’s a middle class threat, read between the lines

Don’t make me call the neighbourhood watch

We meet every month around half past watch

Talk about bins and parking space wars

And who left rubbish outside their doors

I’m a middle class gangster, don’t test my gate

Got a fixed rate mortgage and I think it’s great

Gym on Saturday, Meal prep Sunday,

Bed by ten ‘cause I work on Monday

Middle class gangster, running this town

Push my shopping trolley up and down

You run the streets? That’s fine by me

I run the local community AGM meeting

Yeah…

You got street credit

I got good credit

800 score gangster

Try get a better interest rate than me

I’m a middle class gangster, suit and tie

Packed lunch gangster, chicken and rice

DIY gangster, building a shelf

If something breaks, I fix it myself

Middle class gangster, fear my lawn

Edges trimmed every single morn

You can keep your street crime danger

I’m a fully grown middle class gangster

Yeah…

In bed by ten…

Got work in the morning…

Gangster.