[Verse 1]
Used to be ripped like a Greek god’s dream,
Now I jiggle when I walk — got that dadbod gleam.
Six-pack’s gone, but hey, I got snacks,
Trade abs for a grill and some comfy slacks.
Used to lift big, now I lift my kid,
And the remote — yeah, that’s my cardio bid.
Got hair on my shoulders, none on my head,
And my mirror says, “Bro… you’re halfway dead.”
---
[Pre-Chorus]
But I’m rockin' Crocs with no shame at all,
Belly hangin’ proud like a disco ball!
Wife still laughs when I strike that pose,
Moobs out front like two soft rolls!
---
[Chorus – Drop #1]
DADBOD!
Too hot for the summer bod club!
DADBOD!
Stretch marks flexin’ like whaaat!?
MOOOOBS!
Catch me jiggle on the beat —
Pot belly bouncin’ to this dadcore heat!
DADBOD!
Confidence bigger than my shirt size,
DADBOD!
Rockin’ this gut like a trophy prize!
No shame in my game —
I’m thick, I’m slick, and I can’t be tamed!
---
[Verse 2]
Used to chase girls, now I chase deals,
Talkin' Tupperware, Costco meals.
Balding up top but my back’s in bloom,
Smellin’ like BBQ and Old Spice fumes.
Belt line lost, got that dad strength strong,
Can’t find my keys but I’ll fix that lawn!
Laughin’ at myself in my cargo shorts,
Yeah, I peaked in ‘06, but I still got sports.
---
[Pre-Chorus]
Grillin’ in the rain, got socks with slides,
My metabolism packed up and died!
Got a sweet tooth and a saggy butt,
But I still dance like I just don’t what!
---
[Chorus – Drop #2]
DADBOD!
Fluffier than a cinnamon bun,
DADBOD!
My kid says, “Dad, you're number one!”
MOOOOBS!
Bounce in time with the bass,
Double-chin swag in your face!
DADBOD!
Shakin’ that belly with pride,
DADBOD!
My fanny pack’s open wide!
Got love handles and dad jokes too —
A silver fox with a grill game true!
---
[Bridge – Spoken with autotune/glitch FX]
“Alexa, play ‘I’m Sexy and I Know It’... but, like… dad version.”
— Processing: You mean ‘Chubby and Confident’?
“Exactly.”
[LOUD AIRHORN NOISE]
---
[Final Chorus – Drop #3 w/ Bigger Production]
DADBOD!
Too thicc for the treadmill crowd,
DADBOD!
Cheeseburgers make me proud!
MOOOOBS!
They clap when I dance,
Got that slow-motion romance!
DADBOD!
King of the backyard bash,
DADBOD!
With my 3XL mustache!
Gettin’ older, but I still got moves —
Grillin’ with flair and Asda grooves!
---
Outro [Spoken Over Beat]
“Y’all can keep your keto,
I got pizza and libido.”
fart sound into sub bass wobble
“Daaaaaadbooooooddd…”
JonnyOnit
