[Verse 1]
You left your hoodie on my chair
Still smells like cheap perfume and fear
You said
"He's better
He stays calm"
While I was shaking in my car outside your mom's
[Pre-Chorus]
I memorized your panic texts
Read them back like sacred scripts
Thought I could pull you from that edge
Now I'm the one who jumped instead
[Chorus]
Girl
I could have saved you
But now he can
Guess I was training wheels
He gets to be the man
My drug dealer is my therapist (yeah)
He has what I need to forget you exist
Line after line
Till your ghost goes numb
If I can't feel a thing
Then you can't make me run
[Verse 2]
He counts the cash
I count my scars
He says my name like an old punch card
"You back again? You must be bad"
I laugh it off
Say
"You're all I have" (all I have)
[Pre-Chorus]
You traded breakdowns for a ring
I traded love for anything
Anything that blurs your face
Anything that scrapes your name away
[Chorus]
Girl
I could have saved you
But now he can
You found a future
I found a shaky plan
My drug dealer is my therapist (hey)
He has what I need to forget you exist
Pill after pill till your voice runs dry
If I can't hear you scream
I never have to try
[Bridge]
I hope he holds you
Like I held my breath
While you talked about dying
Every night through a cracked headset
Now I'm the one you block to stay okay
So I pay a stranger to take you away (take you away)
[Chorus]
Girl
I could have saved you
But now he can
I was the warning sign
He gets the second chance
My drug dealer is my therapist (oh)
He has what I need to erase every kiss
Hit after hit till the film burns out
If I can't see your face
I can't break down
[Outro]
Girl
I could have saved you
But now he can
(But now he can, but now he can)
My dealer knows you better than I ever can
'Cause every time I buy
I'm selling you again