[Verse 1]
You said my name like it was brand new
Tripped on the vowels
I still laughed with you
Coffee on Itaewon hill
You took my hand
Time stood still
You asked me how to count in my tongue
I drew the letters on your thumb
You said
“Someday
Can you teach our kids?”
We both went quiet when you said this
[Pre-Chorus]
I saw my mother’s worried eyes
In every word I couldn’t say
How do I tell her that my life
Just bent a different way?
[Chorus]
I’m writing “Montana” in my name
On the back of an old boarding pass
Circle the due date
Circle your last name
Circle the pieces of my past
Umma’s tears on a cracked phone screen
“Baby
How can you go so far?”
I say
“I found a small blue house in the big white snow
And your granddaughter’s heart beats where you are”
[Verse 2]
Kitchen light at 3 a.m
Two pink lines and a silent hymn
You held your breath
Then held my face
Said
“We can do this
Any place”
Dinner table
Father’s stare
Chopsticks shaking in the air
He said
“Our world is not the same”
I said
“Appa
But love still has your name”
[Pre-Chorus]
Suitcase open on the floor
Books and baby clothes in piles
Every folded little shirt
Measured out the miles
[Chorus]
I’m writing “Montana” in my name
On the form at the old city hall
Circle my passport
Circle this new fate
Circle the fear of losing it all
Umma’s voice through the airport noise
“Will he treat you with all his heart?”
I say
“I found a small blue house in the big white snow
And your granddaughter’s eyes are still dark”
[Bridge]
First snowfall on a Friday night (oh)
Your mom brings soup in a borrowed pot
Says
“I don’t know all your holidays
But teach me every one you’ve got”
I fry mandu in a foreign pan
Hang hanbok on a wooden chair
Our baby kicks when I switch my tongue
Two homes tangled in her hair
[Chorus]
I’m writing “Montana” in my name
On a crayon-stained refrigerator note
Circle Hangul
Circle English words
Circle every lullaby I wrote
FaceTime call in the morning light
Umma sings through a pixelated star
And here in our small blue house in the big white snow
Her granddaughter bows with two hearts
[Outro]
You said my name like it was brand new
Now a tiny voice tries it too
Between the mountains and the subway trains I knew
I chose love
And somehow chose them too