Well, my neighbor’s dog keeps barkin’ all night,
His porch light’s bright, it’s a satellite.
And every morning when I pull outta bed,
His diesel truck’s roarin’ messin’ with my head.
I tried to play nice, I really, really did,
But last Tuesday night, I flipped my lid.
When his truck blocked my lawn for the second time,
I thought, “Revenge ain’t petty—it’s borderline divine!”
(Chorus)
So I took a s**t in the neighbor’s truck,
Right on the seat—yeah, I don’t give a what!
I left him a note: "Don’t push your luck,
Or you’ll find more gifts in your pickup truck!"
(Verse 2)
Now the story got out at the local bar,
Folks laughed so hard they nearly crashed their cars.
Sheriff pulled me over, said, “You crossed the line!”
I said, “His truck deserved it—it was justice, not a crime!”
My granny called me, said, “What have you done?
Your name’s on Facebook, you’re the talk of everyone.”
I said, “Granny, don’t worry, it’s just small-town fun.
Besides, that old truck needed a proper rerun!”
(Chorus)
‘Cause I took a s**t in the neighbor’s truck,
Left my signature in a big ol’ muck.
If he parks on my grass, he’s outta luck,
‘Cause there’s more where that came from to fill his truck!
(Bridge)
They say country livin’ is peaceful and kind,
But neighbors like him can mess with your mind.
Sometimes you gotta take the high road and smile,
Or…you can grab some Taco Bell and go hog wild!
(Chorus)
Yeah, I took a s**t in the neighbor’s truck,
It was bold, it was wrong, but I don’t give a what!
I’d do it again if he runs amok,
‘Cause there’s nothin’ sweeter than settin’ him stuck!
(Outro)
So don’t park your truck where it don’t belong,
Or I’ll write you a verse in my next hit song.
Revenge ain’t pretty, but it’s justice deluxe—
And I’ll be sittin’ pretty while you clean your truck!
