You did your best by AlchemistEthereal252 - Zona

You did your best by AlchemistEthereal252 - Zona

Lyrics

[Verse 1]

The weather in that house changed without warning

Some nights he was soft, crying at the table

Some nights he was something I ran from

I learned the difference in his footsteps

before I learned to read

I was the funny one

because funny kept him close enough to love

and far enough to survive

[Pre-Chorus]

I watched my mother’s face to know if we were safe

I watched his hands to know which night this was

I was small and I was already working

so hard, to keep everyone standing

[Chorus]

You did your best

and your best wasn’t good enough

That hurts sometimes

and I’m okay

You had a wall around whatever was left of you

I could love you my whole life and never get in

You did your best

I’m still here anyway

[Verse 2]

I found my own way to leave a room

without ever leaving the room

Learned it so well I almost didn’t come back

Put it down when I wanted to be someone’s mother

more than I wanted to disappear

You got softer after I got sober

not for me — I was already grown —

but for him, this boy without his father

You held him like the parts of you that could still open

had been saving themselves for this

[Pre-Chorus 2]

I taught my son to sit inside the hard feeling

instead of running

He was two years old

and already gentler with himself than you ever were with you

[Chorus 2]

You did your best

and your best wasn’t good enough

That hurts sometimes

and I’m okay

[Bridge]

Near the end your body kept panicking

and you didn’t know that’s what it was

I sat next to you and said you’re okay, you’re okay

this will pass, I promise you it will pass

You asked how I always knew what you needed

before you knew it yourself

I said, I wasn’t guessing

I’ve been watching you my whole life

I’m just glad you finally let me

[Spoken]

“If it doesn’t work out, you can always come home.”

[Outro]

I found out about my second

two days before I lost you

I gave him your name to carry

not the wound — just the name

I think you can see clearly now

wherever you are

no walls, nothing closed

just you, finally able to receive it —

all the love

I never stopped having for you