⸻
i don’t remember coming in
i don’t remember leaving either
Doctors keep telling me “you’re safe”
but safe feels like being buried without dirt
like i’m still breathing
and that’s a problem
there’s something wrong with the air
it sticks to my lungs
like it doesn’t want to let go
i tried to count the tiles on the floor
but they kept changing
or i kept changing
i don’t know
⸻
there’s a voice
no—there’s a lot of them
but none of them sounds like me
just… older
or deader
The voices keep saying
“you already snapped”
“this is just what’s left”
⸻
i keep checking my hands
because they don’t feel attached
they move when i tell them to
but it feels delayed
like i’m watching myself
from a hallway
i’m not in
⸻
they took the mirrors away
but i still see myself
in the corners
in the ceiling
in the reflection of their eyes
and every version of me
looks worse
⸻
i tried to explain it
to someone—
a nurse
a doctor
something with a face
but the words came out sideways
i said
“i think i’m disappearing”
they wrote something down
and smiled
⸻
why did they smile
⸻
i think there’s something inside my head
not like a thought
not like a memory
something moving
i can feel it
when i sit still
when i breathe too deep
it scratches
but not loud enough for anyone else
⸻
don’t listen to it
don’t listen to it
don’t—
it knows my name
no
is it my name
⸻
i tried to sleep
bad idea
everything gets louder
when it’s dark
the walls don’t stop at the walls
they lean
they stretch
they almost touch me
i think if they do
i won’t come back
⸻
i heard someone screaming earlier
i think it was me
but it sounded far away
like it came from another room
or another version
⸻
i don’t think i’m alone in here
not like “other people”
i mean
in here
⸻
there’s too many thoughts
and none of them feel like mine
they overlap
they repeat
they rot
“you’re not real”
“you’re not real”
“you’re not real”
okay
then what is this
⸻
they gave me something
it burns slow
like it’s erasing me gently
i can feel parts of me
going quiet
that should feel good
it doesn’t
⸻
i don’t want to disappear
i don’t want to stay either
⸻
someone just said my name again
i didn’t answer
if i answer
it means i’m still here
and i’m not sure
i want that to be true
⸻
…
…
i think i already died in here
and whatever’s left
is just waiting
to be noticed
or replaced
extraexotic67
