I think i died in here

⸻

i don’t remember coming in
i don’t remember leaving either

Doctors keep telling me “you’re safe”
but safe feels like being buried without dirt
like i’m still breathing
and that’s a problem

there’s something wrong with the air
it sticks to my lungs
like it doesn’t want to let go

i tried to count the tiles on the floor
but they kept changing
or i kept changing

i don’t know

⸻

there’s a voice
no—there’s a lot of them
but none of them sounds like me
just… older
or deader

The voices keep saying
“you already snapped”
“this is just what’s left”

⸻

i keep checking my hands
because they don’t feel attached
they move when i tell them to
but it feels delayed

like i’m watching myself
from a hallway
i’m not in

⸻

they took the mirrors away
but i still see myself

in the corners
in the ceiling
in the reflection of their eyes

and every version of me
looks worse

⸻

i tried to explain it
to someone—
a nurse
a doctor
something with a face

but the words came out sideways

i said
“i think i’m disappearing”

they wrote something down
and smiled

⸻

why did they smile

⸻

i think there’s something inside my head
not like a thought
not like a memory

something moving

i can feel it
when i sit still
when i breathe too deep

it scratches
but not loud enough for anyone else

⸻

don’t listen to it
don’t listen to it
don’t—

it knows my name

no
is it my name

⸻

i tried to sleep

bad idea

everything gets louder
when it’s dark

the walls don’t stop at the walls
they lean
they stretch
they almost touch me

i think if they do
i won’t come back

⸻

i heard someone screaming earlier

i think it was me

but it sounded far away
like it came from another room

or another version

⸻

i don’t think i’m alone in here

not like “other people”

i mean
in here

⸻

there’s too many thoughts
and none of them feel like mine

they overlap
they repeat
they rot

“you’re not real”
“you’re not real”
“you’re not real”

okay

then what is this

⸻

they gave me something
it burns slow
like it’s erasing me gently

i can feel parts of me
going quiet

that should feel good

it doesn’t

⸻

i don’t want to disappear

i don’t want to stay either

⸻

someone just said my name again

i didn’t answer

if i answer
it means i’m still here

and i’m not sure
i want that to be true

⸻

…

…

i think i already died in here

and whatever’s left

is just waiting
to be noticed

or replaced

Dark heavy bass