I was just a kid pretending to be a father
You were a mother who only showed up
When there was blame to give
And then you vanished again...
---
[Verse 1]
I was the anchor in a ship you left
Raising five hearts on what I had left
You chased men across county lines
While I cooked, cleaned, and learned to lie
Met every stranger you brought through the door
Called ‘em dad but felt like a chore
They never stayed, and I never asked
Just smiled while wearing a borrowed mask
---
[Pre-Chorus]
I was drowning slow in the weight of the day
You were out chasing love two states away
I didn’t hate you—I just couldn’t breathe
Holding up your world while you left me beneath
---
[Chorus]
I’m sorry I broke while I tried to bend
I was a boy standing in for a man
They blamed the thunder, but I was the rain
Flooding in silence, swallowing pain
I loved them more than they could know
But I had to leave to save my soul
Now I carry the guilt in every breath
But I won’t wear your shame or death
---
[Verse 2]
You only came back when something was wrong
Took inventory of what I’d done
Scolded my hands, ignored my eyes
Asked why the dishes weren’t stacked just right
I missed birthdays so I could pay the bills
Taped broken toys with the force of will
Read them bedtime stories I made from pain
Still, you said I was the one to blame
---
[Pre-Chorus]
They cried for mom, I wiped their tears
Buried my fear for seven years
I taught them how to tie their shoes
But who was there to help me through?
---
[Chorus]
I’m sorry I broke while I tried to bend
I was a boy standing in for a man
They blamed the thunder, but I was the rain
Flooding in silence, swallowing pain
I loved them more than they could know
But I had to leave to save my soul
Now I carry the guilt in every breath
But I won’t wear your shame or death
---
[Bridge – Spoken or Screamed]
You traded time for the chase of affection
Left your eldest son to learn rejection
I met every man who swore they'd stay
Watched them vanish by the end of the day
I’m not the villain in your story
I’m the ghost of your responsibility
---
[Breakdown – Screamed]
Don’t call it desertion
Call it survival
Don’t call me selfish
I chose revival
You made me the parent
Then made me the blame
But I walked through that fire
And left with my name
---
[Final Chorus – Stripped, Then Full Power]
I’m sorry I broke while I tried to bend
I was the spark — not the end
They blamed the smoke, but never saw the fire
Holding the house while it sank in the mire
I hope they know it wasn’t goodbye
It was live... or die
I’ll carry the guilt in every breath
But I left to save what I had left
