[Intro - Michael Starr screaming over chugging riff]
YEAH! You creepy little fuckers, listen up!
[Verse 1]
Slinkin’ through the club, tryna cop a feel on the sly,
She says “no thanks, dude” but you still give it a try.
Whisperin’ gross shit in her ear like a desperate prick,
That’s a fast track, motherfucker, to the woodchipper quick!
[Pre-Chorus]
No dick pics, no grabbin’ ass without a green light,
Back the fuck up or you’re gettin’ ground up tonight!
[Chorus]
Sex pests are good enough for woodchippers, feet first too!
Feed ‘em in slow, let ‘em scream while we laugh “fuck you!”
Treat all the ladies with a little bit of class,
Not like objective ass property, you dumbass!
Open doors, buy drinks, look her right in the eyes,
Make her feel special ‘fore you rock between her thighs — oh yeah!
[Verse 2]
Ask her what she wants, don’t assume she’s down to bone,
Real talk and foreplay, baby, that’s how kings get blown.
Listen to her dreams, laugh at all her jokes,
Don’t treat her like a fucktoy, you pathetic little hoax!
Compliment her mind along with them perfect tits,
That’s the Steel Panther way, you illiterate twits!
[Pre-Chorus]
Consent is sexy, yeah it’s hotter than hell,
If she says stop, you stop — ring the fuckin’ bell!
[Chorus]
Sex pests are good enough for woodchippers, feet first too!
Grind those losers up, that’s what real men do!
Treat the ladies right with some rock ‘n’ roll class,
She’ll ride you all night if you ain’t bein’ an ass!
[Bridge - over epic solo]
(Satchel: blazing guitar solo)
Yeah baby… here’s the real move:
Take her dancin’, hold her close but never force the groove,
Make her cum from respect, not just your cock and moves,
‘Cause real hair metal gods know how to treat their muse!
[Final Chorus - bigger]
Sex pests are good enough for woodchippers, feet first too!
We’re Steel Panther — we fuck with class, not like you!
Class and raunch, baby, mix it just right,
Respect her body and soul and she’ll fuck you all night!
Woodchipper justice for the pests in the scene,
Now let’s party with the ladies — know what I mean?!
[Outro]
Hahaha! Feet first, you creeps!
Respect the pussy… or get chipped, bitch!
Brought to you by the Best Band Ever! Steel Fucking Panther!
LegionX
