[Intro — whispered / ambient]
I know exactly what I’m doing to myself…
And I still can’t stop.
[Verse 1 — clean]
Every room feels colder after I leave,
Like I siphon light from everyone around me.
I chase the spark, the rush, the noise,
Temporary highs dressed up as choices.
I swear I mean every word I say,
But my mind changes shape by the hour.
Attention scattered like broken glass,
Cutting the hands that tried to hold me together.
[Pre-Chorus — rising]
And I hate that I need
Something new to feel alive…
Another hit of dopamine
Just to survive the night.
[Chorus — screamed]
I KNOW THE DAMAGE BEFORE I DO IT
BUT I STILL RUN HEADFIRST INTO THE FIRE
TRADING LOVE FOR A CHEAP DISTRACTION
WATCHING GOOD PEOPLE DISAPPEAR
I swear I care —
So why do I destroy everything near me?!
Every promise rots inside my mouth
While regret claws holes into my sleep!
[Verse 2 — clean/melodic]
You said, “One day you’ll push too far,”
And God, you were right.
I keep collecting apologies
Like they reverse goodbye.
Impulsive hearts make permanent scars,
And mine keeps bleeding through every connection.
I get addicted to escape,
Then wonder why I’m always abandoned.
[Breakdown — screamed]
MY BRAIN IS A RIOT
STATIC IN MY VEINS
I TRADE FOREVER FOR A MOMENT
AGAIN AND AGAIN
I KNOW I’M LOSING PEOPLE
WHILE I’M LOSING CONTROL
BUT SELF-AWARENESS NEVER SAVED
A SELF-DESTRUCTIVE SOUL
[Bridge — soft / emotional]
There’s a cemetery in my contacts list…
Names I can’t bring myself to delete.
People who loved me honestly,
Until honesty wasn’t enough to compete
With chaos.
[Final Chorus — layered clean + scream]
I KNOW THE DAMAGE BEFORE I DO IT
AND I STILL CHOOSE THE KNIFE
JUST TO FEEL SOMETHING DIFFERENT
JUST TO QUIET MY MIND
Now the silence hits harder
Than the highs ever did…
And I’d give anything
To be someone worth staying with.
[Outro — fading]
I keep saying “next time I’ll change…”
But next time always looks the same.
TraumaDump
