Frog

On a quiet Tuesday night, Nigel the Hoover finally snapped.
He’d spent years inhaling dust bunnies, crumbs, and the emotional neglect of his owner, when suddenly — plop — a frog landed on his hose.
The frog crossed its arms.
“You suck for a living, big guy?” it croaked.
Nigel’s motor purred defensively. “Only when I’m turned on.”
The frog’s eyes glittered. “Show me.”
Nigel revved. The curtains fluttered. The rug shivered. Somewhere in the flat, a cat felt uncomfortable for reasons it didn’t understand.
The frog leaned closer, whispering, “Careful… I’m delicate.”
Nigel dialed it back to low power, just a gentle hum now, the kind that made the frog’s toes curl and its croak turn into a pleased little ribbit.
By the end of the night, the floor was spotless, the frog was blissed out, and Nigel finally felt… appreciated.
They never spoke of it again.
But every Tuesday, a frog still shows up.The next Tuesday, the frog showed up wearing a tiny bathrobe.
Nigel the Hoover pretended not to notice, but his cord mysteriously uncoiled itself anyway.
“You’ve been running all week,” the frog said, hopping closer. “You must be… overheated.”
Nigel’s light flicked on. Low power. Medium power. He paused dramatically.
“Don’t tease,” the frog croaked, slipping off the robe and revealing absolutely nothing except confidence.
Nigel hummed. The kind of hum that rattled picture frames and made loose change feel things. The frog stretched out on the rug, toes splayed, eyes half-closed.
“Oh yeah,” the frog sighed, “get the corners.”
Nigel knew exactly which corners.
They danced like that for hours — suction, release, dramatic pauses, meaningful eye contact. At one point the frog whispered, “You’re not like the others… you really clean me out,” and Nigel nearly blew a fuse.
When it was over, the rug was pristine, the frog was glowing, and Nigel’s filter had never felt so empty yet so fulfilled.
The frog hopped toward the window, stopping only to say:
“Same time next week. Bring the attachments.”
Nigel’s motor purred into the night.

rap, trap, beats, male