[Verse 1]
Texas memories fuck with my Cali nights
Loved too damn hard, caught in endless fights
Busted my ass as provider for five straight years
Then hit rock bottom with nobody to catch my tears
They say "fake that shit 'til you make it" – that's a lie
Can't force this pain away, no matter how hard I try
Her crying face at that hotel still cuts me deep
Talking 'bout "we can fix this" – bitch, where was that energy last week?
[Hook]
Now I'm just floating through this bullshit
Ghost of who I used to be(ugh)
Trapped between the real and fake shit
My kindness was all these vultures could see
[Verse 2]
(They said to fake it till you make it but bitch you fake and you aint fakin)[Repeat x2]
Started with blow, spiraled to crystal
Felt my mind snap, dancing with the devil
Told her straight up I was losing my damn soul
Body wasting to nothing, down to bones
Took care of my son while you ran wild
Learned to be a father with no fucking guide
Then CPS snatched the kids, thought we'd get tight
Instead you spread your legs for some other guy that night
[Hook]
Now I'm just floating through this bullshit
Ghost of who I used to be(ugh)
Trapped between the real and fake shit
My kindness was all these vultures could see
[Verse 3]
DNA test – 99.8, he's blood of my blood
But three states away when he said his first words, goddamn
Missed first steps, first teeth – shit tears me apart
Paid for all my services, did my part
While these lonely nights become my new normal
They twist the narrative like I'm the criminal
When all I ever did was bleed for you all
Gave everything I had 'til I took the fall
[Verse 4]
BPD diagnosis after I bounced out
Mind in chaos while I'm trying to figure this shit out
"Can't live without you" she said – now won't text back
Empty words from lips that moved on hella fast
Fucking with someone eleven years younger than me
Close to our daughter's age – how fucked can you be?
Try to let go but these feelings got me chained
Heart follows its own path, drowning in the pain
[Bridge]
Past shadows stalking me, can't shake this shit(nah)
Memories like handcuffs, wrists still bruised from it
But in these Cali skies, might find a sliver of light
Through the Texas darkness, still got some fight(ugh)
[Hook]
Now I'm just floating through this bullshit
Ghost of who I used to be(bitch)
Trapped between the real and fake shit
My kindness was all these vultures could see
[Outro]
(They said to fake it till you make it but bitch you fake and you aint fakin)[Repeat x2]
Being real took me straight to the bottom
Built my life on love that was rotten
In a better space but the rage still burns
Rebuilding from ashes, taking hard turns
Not dead yet, but not fully alive
Just floating through, trying to survive
At times my ego thrives, others its modest as a mouse.
Shit, sometimes all we really can do is float on
, but my feet drag like boulders
At times I feel like atlas with the world on my shoulders
Atlas, how do you float on? With this weight on your shoulders
WORLDPATTERNZ
