The shepherd

I watched my father lead us

with his jaw set toward the wind,

never knew the roads he traveled,

only where they seemed to end.

I thought his hands were steady

‘cause he’d never learned to fear.

Now I know a man stands taller

when there’s others standing near.

He never spoke of burdens.

Never named the things he paid.

Just kept the wolves beyond the fire

and pointed out the way.

Now I hold the reins he carried.

Now the night calls out my name.

And I finally know the silence

that I once mistook for strength.

There are things a man must shoulder

that he ought not bring inside.

There are truths he takes to darkness,

there are fears he lets there die.

There are deeds that won’t look righteous

when the reckoning is made.

Still, the gate must hold till morning.

Still, somebody has to stay.

The shepherd does not stray from the path,

for it is he who decides the way.

Let heaven judge the miles I’ve walked.

I chose them anyway.

Now I understand my father,

why he seldom looked behind.

Every soul that walked beside him

was a weight upon his mind.

He wasn’t made of iron.

He just knew what iron’s for.

You don’t carry it for glory.

You carry it to war.

So let the thunder gather.

Let the black come down like rain.

I’ve seen what becomes of good men

when good men won’t bear the blame.

There are things I’ll take to judgment.

There are things I’ll leave unnamed.

A man who means to keep his people

can’t come through the fire unchanged.

The shepherd does not stray from the path,

for it is he who decides the way.

I heard those words in my father’s silence.

I understand them now today.

He walked until I followed.

Now I walk where none have been.

And somewhere in the years behind me,

another man will understand.

Let the debt come find me waiting.

Let the earth collect its claim.

I was given no road to follow.

So I carved one all the same.

And when the trail has turned to country,

and they’ve forgotten why I came,

they won’t ask who chose the way here.

They’ll call that ground my name.