I’m six feet of trouble in a worn-out pair of boots
Got a stare that’ll make a grown man mind his P’s and Q’s
I’m hard as an anvil, tough as an old fence post
Mean as they come, buddy, everybody knows
I’ll walk an old lady clear across the parking lot
Carry every grocery bag whether she needs me to or not
I’ll give a tired waitress more than what the ticket says
Then leave before she gets the chance to thank me for it, yeah
I’m mean as they come, rough as they get
Ain’t met a thing on God’s green earth that’s whipped me yet
I’ll pull over in the pouring rain when somebody’s broke down
Yeah, I’m a cold-blooded, hard-hearted terror of this town
Mean as they come
I don’t take lip, I don’t tolerate a thing
See a kid come up short, I’ll buy whatever he was reaching
Somebody drops a wallet, I’ll hunt ‘em half the county down
Nobody gets away with losing something when I’m around
I’ve got hands made for fighting, shoulders built for war
I’ll carry every heavy box before you reach the door
And if somebody’s getting picked on, well, that just ain’t gonna fly
I’ll make damn sure they get home safe, then never tell ’em why
I’m mean as they come, rough as they get
Ain’t met a thing on God’s green earth that’s whipped me yet
I give my word, I keep it, even when it costs me some
That’s the kind of ruthless bastard that I’ve become
Yeah, I’m mean as they come
I don’t need the spotlight, I can stand back in the shade
Let another man feel ten feet tall off something that I made
I don’t kick a man when he’s down, I get him on his feet
’Cause anybody can throw a punch, takes a hard man to eat defeat
So if you hear I’m dangerous, every damn word is true
I’ll give the shirt right off my back, then probably my jacket too
I’ll take the worst seat at the table, make sure everybody’s fed
Then tell you I don’t give a damn what anybody said
I’m mean as they come, that’s just how I was raised
Hard-headed, hard-working, set in my ways
If you need me, I’ll be there before the telephone’s hung up
Meanest damn man you’ll ever have the bad luck to love
Yeah, mean as they come