Yeah…
Walked into church still seein’ colors,
Pastor lookin’ like he got a Snapchat filter on him…
Oh no…
Walked in late, sunglasses on,
Choir hittin’ notes like a rave at dawn,
Lady said “Peace be with you, son,”
I said “Peace…” then hugged like everyone.
Stained glass movin’, walls start breathin’,
Pretty sure the angel statue blinked this evenin’,
Grandma clappin’ way too fast in the pew,
I swear the tambourine started talkin’ too.
Tried to sit still but the carpet wavy,
Looked at the pastor, thought he turned 80,
Then back to 40, then maybe three,
I’m prayin’ to God like “Please don’t look at me.”
I’m trippin’ balls in the house of praise,
Caught the Holy Ghost for like seven days,
Choir soundin’ like a DJ set,
Best church service that I ever met.
Hands up high, eyes real wide,
Saw Noah cruisin’ by outside,
I ain’t ever felt this much grace,
While starin’ at a floating Jesus face.
Passed the collection plate twice by mistake,
Dropped in a Hot Wheels and a piece of steak,
Little kid asked if I was okay,
I said “Bro… your shoes are singin’ today.”
Organ player turned into a dragon,
Deacon yelled “Amen!”—whole room started laggin’,
Baptism water looked like Mountain Dew,
I almost cannonballed into row two.
Pastor preachin’ hard about temptation,
Meanwhile I’m fascinated by ventilation,
Ceiling fan got me emotionally weak,
Think I stared at it for a solid week.
Mama whispered, “Boy you need prayer,”
I said “The chandelier got purple hair,”
She smacked my arm, I saw sparks fly,
Pretty sure I fist-bumped Moses nearby.
I’m trippin’ balls in the house of praise,
Caught the Holy Ghost for like seven days,
Choir soundin’ like a DJ set,
Best church service that I ever met.
Hands up high, knees might shake,
Thought communion was chocolate cake,
I repented at least fifteen times,
Then cried ‘cause the piano sounded nice.
Now the sermon over, everybody eatin’,
I’m in the parking lot spiritually defeated,
Still hear organs every time I blink…
And I told the pastor his suit was pink.