(Verse 1)
*Lights flicker in the bathroom stall,*
*Someone’s gruntin’ like they’re playin’ football,*
*Dude next door says “God damn!”*
*Bro, you launchin’ NATO or just takin’ a slam?*
(Pre-Chorus)
*Splash zone active—CODE RED,*
*Toilet paper’s thin like my ex’s thread,*
*Air freshener? Nah, just light a match,*
*This ain’t a bathroom, it’s a chemical patch.*
(Chorus)
*OOOOOHHHH—CROP DUST THE DANCE FLOOR!*
*Let it rip like a divorce lawyer’s invoice!*
*One cheek sneak, then the room goes mute,*
*Now the DJ’s playin’ *Darude - Sandstorm* on loop!*
(Verse 2)
*Taco Bell at 2 AM,*
*Stomach sounds like a K-pop fan,*
*Shoulda known that “mild” was cap,*
*Now my jeans are a* ***tactical trap***.*
(Bridge 1)
*Hot sauce on my lip,*
*Regret in my hips,*
*Sweatin’ like a sinner in church,*
*SPONGEBOB ME BOY, I’M* ***ASCENDIIIING—***
(Chorus 2)
*OOOOOHHHH—FART SO HARD IT UN-TICKS TIKTOK!*
*Security’s gaggin’, call the UN watch!*
*Grandma clutchin’ pearls like “Lord, take me now,”*
*I just grin and say “Ma’am, that was* ***the appetizer***.*”*
(Verse 3)
*First date gone wrong at Olive Garden,*
*Endless breadsticks? More like* ***gastric pardon***,*
*She asked “You good?” I said “*Like new!*”*
*Then my belt buckle* ***flew into orbit*** *on cue.*
(Pre-Chorus 3)
*Rumbling louder than my dad’s Ford,*
*Seat’s vibrating like a* ***Nordic death chord***,*
*Legs crossed like a pretzel prayin’,*
*Dear God,* ***why’s the AC sprayin’?!***
(Bridge 3)
*Silent but violent? Nah,* ***sonic boom***,*
*Set off car alarms in the parking lot too,*
*Manager’s screamin’, “Who’s the culprit?!”*
*I point to the Chihuahua* ***(& it’s lookin’ guilty as hell)***.*
(FINAL CHORUS – EPIC KEY CHANGE)
*OOOOOHHHH—I AM THE STORM THAT IS APPROOOACHING!*
*Brown clouds gather, the porcelain’s groaning!*
*Flush twice, it’s* ***Armageddon*** *today,*
*Exit stage left—* ***but the smell’s here to stay.***
(Outro – Whispered)
*”…worth it.”*
MrsSonicSrooms
