It's hard sometimes

Verse 1:

It’s already hard sometimes… when you’re living a lonely life

Then you bring home a monkey and a chicken one night

Thought they’d be sweet, maybe somethin’ to adore

Now I got feathers in my sheets and scratch marks on my door

Chorus:

It’s hard sometimes—yeah, I should have just got a cat. I couldn't choose just one pussy and now look where I'm at.

My chicken’s gettin’ choked—my monkey’s gettin’ spanked

Just chokin' and spankin' got no money in the bank.

Verse 2:

That chicken starts cluckin’ 'fore the crack of dawn

Struttin’ like it owns me, like I’m just IT'S pawn

Flappin’, squawkin’, peckin’ at my pride

So I grabbed it by the neck and took it for a ride

Chorus:

It’s hard sometimes—yeah, life don’t make much sense

That chicken’s gettin’ choked—the monkey’s gettin’ spanked

It’s hard sometimes—when your pets turn into pests

But I ain’t losin’ sleep, I just deal with it best

Verse 3:

Now the monkey’s in the kitchen, swingin’ on the fan

Wearing nothin’ but my boxers and a master plan

Grinnin’ like a sinner, tail curled up tight

I said, “You want attention? I’ll give it to you right.”

Chorus:

It’s hard sometimes—yeah, life don’t make much sense

That chicken’s gettin’ choked—the monkey’s gettin’ spanked

It’s hard sometimes—when your pets turn into pests

But I ain’t losin’ sleep, I just deal with it best

Bridge:

Ain’t no handbook for beasts like these

You just grit your teeth and bring ‘em to their knees

Love ‘em, spank ‘em, roast ‘em or scold

But don’t let ‘em run wild, or your nights get cold

Chorus:

It’s hard sometimes—when you’re livin’ this solitary life

That chicken’s gettin’ choked—the monkey’s gettin’ spanked tonight

It’s hard sometimes—when I wake up stand tall

Feathers are flyin', fur stickin’ to the wall

Outro (spoken, dirty and slow):

Yeah…

Feathers flyin’, tails cryin’...

I told ‘em once, I told ‘em twice…

You wake me up with that hard, throbbing shit again—

You're chicken ass is gettin' choked… and your monkey ass is gettin' spanked.