[Verse 1]
Why am I attached to a ghost?
The man I once cared for, now a demon’s host.
The shell of a man I thought was beautiful, is now hollow and cold.
I tried to reshape you, now I’m left haunted
Wanted to live like the ones I saw—
Moved in together right out of high school, already starting a family,
Happy.
But I should’ve known…
Happiness isn’t for me
[Pre-Chorus]
You made me feel pathetic
And I let you
I Changed myself, erased the truth
Thought I found love, but I was used.
[Chorus]
When is it my turn to be happy?
Why does my joy always stray?
Why do things that should come easily for me always slip away?
Am I broken? Am I doomed?
Is it because of my curse that I feel this way?
I never asked to be gay
I’m just tired of this pain.
[Verse 2]
I compare myself to those below my age
They’re turning the page while I’m stuck in a cage
They’re dancing in love while I stand in the rain
Their joy feels like sunlight—mine’s shadowed by pain
I thought I found love, but it wasn’t sincere
Just a stand-in, a shadow, now it’s all clear.
Now I suffer in silence, year after year
[Guitar solo]
[Bridge]
Is it my face?
Is it my brain?
I’m going insane
Trying to figure out
Why I can’t just be like them
Why can’t I connect, why can’t I pretend?
Why can I open up to those I deem worthy
But shut down completely when a stranger speaks to me?
[Verse 3]
I wish I was satisfied with being a loner.
Content with the silence,
Instead I suffer.
It makes me wanna bang my head
I wish we never met.
[Chorus]
When is it my turn to be happy?
Why does my joy always stray?
Why do things that should come easily for me always slip away?
Am I broken? Am I doomed?
Is it because of my curse that I feel this way?
I never asked to be gay
I’m just tired of this pain.
[Outro]
I never asked for this
I just wanted to be wanted by one person.
But all I am now
Is someone in between
Broken
And still pathetically dreaming
Of him.
sabj