[Verse 1]
Orange bottle on the nightstand
My name spelled almost right
Tiny moon under my tongue
Chasing back the howling night
Call my mom, I let it ring
Too tired to say “I’m tired”
Search my room for some disaster
Just find laundry and expired fire
[Chorus]
This bitter little miracle
Sits heavy on my tongue
I hate the way it slows me down
But I’m scared of who I was (yeah)
If healing feels this chemical
Then maybe that’s enough
I’m half myself, but half alive
And that’s still more than dust
[Verse 2]
Doctor asks me how I’m sleeping
I just laugh and change the frame
Talk about the side effects
Skip the part about the shame
Friends say “bro, you doing better”
I nod, stare through their praise
They don’t see the sticky silence
When the pill kicks in and stays
[Chorus]
This bitter little miracle
Sits heavy on my tongue
I hate the way it slows me down
But I’m scared of who I was (scared of who I was)
If healing feels this chemical
Then maybe that’s enough
I’m half myself, but half alive
And that’s still more than dust
[Bridge]
I miss the storms inside my head
They hurt, but they were mine
Now everything’s a muted room
A waiting room in grayscale time
Will I ever know the difference
Between “okay” and “controlled”?
If this is what surviving is
Teach my heart to hold
[Chorus]
This bitter little miracle
Sits heavy on my tongue
I hate the way it slows me down
But I’m scared of who I was (who I was)
If healing feels this chemical
Then maybe that’s enough
I’m half myself, but half alive
And that’s still more than dust (oh-oh)
Still more than dust