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Yo my thoughts are in trouble running double but i'll bee clear,

My dad watching me struggle when he should be here, 40 years of feeling unwanted , unneeded, totally defeated, does he like me is he ashamed, he couldn't manage the cards he was dealt. Maybe he was too hard on himself, but he never opens up he never cares to talk. But when ive had enough I dont get prepared to walk. My dad chose booze instead of weed. But still had an opinion on addiction, he says why dont you just stop, you are your own victim, its not a disease its a choice , I wish he could hear his own voice, that condescending arrogance while he says what do you want me to do, when he should be saying sorry im the one who cheated you, i called him one night to tell him how I feel,

I thought it would help but his response was unreal, ive lived in the same house for 6 year and he hasnt visited me ever. Not once never , It wasnt that fair of a deal, he doesnt care how i feel, he doesnt know im a clever kid, I thought he cared but he never did, as a kid I thought we would be forever good, everything ive done for my son he never could, but the acknowledgment never came, never said he was proud, must of had his head in a cloud, and wanna be dead to me. That night on the phone I hated everything he said to me, he brushed it off his shoulder and got annoyed with me. My whole damn life felt like he avoided me, why is he like that, I just wanna strike back. Wish he wanted to help me take my life back, this some deep shit, i got respect for myself, im gonna keep it even though he cant see it,

Not fair my dad was just dandy,

Didn't care to understand me, well Im glad im a man,

Who never had a plan b

Been riding for my son bryce for the last 16 years homie,

I'll tell you twice il'll always be here homie, but some day we all gotta die, every day I tell myself I gotta try, why do people gotta lie, just please remember me son, try to think about all the good things I've done, all the happiness I bring to my son, now i got daughter, now I gotta work harder, thats your vibe, your crew, they rely on you, you give them a shoulder to cry onto, so dont what your dad didnt do, it just hurts he doesnt care the hardships im living thru, oh yeah i got myself off methadone program, would of been nice if I got a there ya go man, but he doesnt even know, I just let it go, I always have feeling but most times I just dont let it show